Ep 20. Conan Exiles

Zero Punctuation is back with its 20th episode of its 12th season. This time the game under the spotlight is Conan Exiles, an open-world survival game based in the Conan the Barbarian universe.

As usual, the episode is hosted by the fast-talking and quick-witted Yahtzee Croshaw. He starts the episode by poking fun at the game's marketing, which features a shirtless man standing on top of a mountain with a sword in his hand. Yahtzee mocks this by stating that "Conan Exiles is the perfect game if you want to play as a topless dude who can't afford a house."

He then jumps into the game's premise. The player is a custom-made character who has been crucified and left to die in the desert. But they're not out of luck yet. A randomly appearing Conan the Barbarian saves the player and sets them free, thus beginning the journey of survival against the harsh wilderness.

Yahtzee notes that this formula is starting to feel a bit repetitive in open-world survival games but acknowledges that Conan does it fairly well. The game has several biomes, ranging from snowy mountains to lush jungles, and offers a decently sized map to explore.

But like every survival game, Conan Exiles' main priority is resource management. The player has to gather food, water, and shelter to survive. Yahtzee notes that the game's thirst and hunger meters deplete incredibly fast, which can lead to frustrating early-game deaths.

The game does have some unique survival mechanics, though. Players need to manage their "stylishness" meter, which determines their level of exposure. Wearing too much armor in a hot climate can make the player suffer from heatstroke, while walking around in the nude in a cold biome can lead to frostbite.

The game also has a unique way of dealing with nudity. Players can choose to play with full nudity, partial nudity, or clothing, and it impacts the gameplay. If a player chooses to play nude, warmth is a more significant issue, while wearing too much armor can make heat management impossible.

Next, Yahtzee moves on to combat. The game features a decent combat system, which offers several weapons and enemy types to fight. But the combat feels a bit clunky, and the lack of a lock-on system makes fighting multiple enemies frustrating.

He then dives into the game's crafting system. The game offers a lot of crafting recipes, and players can design their structure from the ground up. Yahtzee notes that the game's building system is immersive and allows players to build massive forts and outposts. But the crafting system is convoluted, and it can take a while for new players to figure out how to make the basics.

The game's main selling point is the ability to capture and enslave other NPCs, which players can use as labor or sacrifice for rituals. Yahtzee notes that this mechanic feels incredibly dated, and he questions the game's need for an element of slavery when it isn't approached with any subtlety.

In conclusion, Yahtzee remarks that Conan Exiles is a decent survival game, but it doesn't add anything new to the genre. The game feels repetitive, and the sheer amount of content can feel overwhelming to new players. But it's still a solid survival game, and if players are fans of the Conan the Barbarian universe, they'll find a lot to love.

Overall, Zero Punctuation's 20th episode in its 12th season is a hilarious takedown of Conan Exiles. Yahtzee's quick wit and no-holds-barred critique of the game's mechanics make this episode nothing short of entertaining.