Ep 5. Staff Pilfering

The Brittas Empire is a British sitcom that follows the life of Gordon Brittas, the overly enthusiastic and incompetent manager of the Whitbury-Newtown Leisure Centre. In season 1 episode 5 titled "Staff Pilfering," Brittas is faced with a series of thefts that are plaguing the leisure centre.

The episode begins with Brittas calling an emergency staff meeting to address the issue of theft at the leisure centre. He announces that someone has been stealing from the lockers in the leisure centre's changing rooms, and their thefts have been escalating in recent days with many more reports of missing items coming in. Brittas, ever the optimist, suggests that the problem is merely the result of a few honest mistakes.

As Brittas speaks, we see his staff rolling their eyes, knowing full well that the centre's problems run much deeper than simple misunderstandings. Laura Lancing, the centre's receptionist, is particularly suspicious of one of their colleagues, Tim, who is always looking for opportunities to take a day off. Meanwhile, Tim's friend, Colin, has been displaying odd behavior, such as wearing expensive watches and owning expensive cars, despite his meager salary.

Feeling the weight of suspicion, Tim and Colin decide to set up a sting operation to catch the real thief. They devise an elaborate trap involving a fake customer, a hidden camera, and some deliberately placed "stolen" items. The plan is set into motion, and soon enough Colin appears to catch the thief red-handed.

When Brittas hears the news that the thief has been caught, he is overjoyed and insists on overseeing the thief's punishment himself. He makes a show of publicly announcing the thief's guilt and then orders them to return everything they have stolen. However, as the meeting comes to an end, Brittas begins to suspect that he may have rushed to judgment. He confides in Laura that he is worried he may have accused the wrong person.

Determined to get to the bottom of things, Brittas decides to conduct his own investigation. He pokes around the leisure centre, looking for clues and interrogating staff members. Ultimately, he decides that the only way to solve the mystery is to call in the police.

As Brittas waits for the police to arrive, tensions in the leisure centre rise. All eyes are now on Tim and Colin, who both vehemently deny being involved in the thefts. A small skirmish erupts, with the two arguing loudly, as it emerges that Colin had in fact just inherited a large sum of money from his recently deceased grandmother. When the police arrive, they quickly unravel the case, revealing that the thief is actually someone who nobody would have ever suspected.

In typical Brittas style, the conclusion of the episode is a complete and utter mess. But despite this, Brittas is overjoyed that the culprit has been caught and justice has been served. As the episode draws to a close, the staff of the leisure centre return to their normal routines, relieved that this crisis has finally been resolved.