Ep 9. The Masseuse

In Seinfeld season 5 episode 9, entitled "The Masseuse," Jerry and Elaine attempt to set up Jerry's new girlfriend, a masseuse named Dolores, with George. Although initially hesitant, George eventually agrees to the arrangement, but things quickly become complicated when he reveals to Dolores that he is a bald man who wears a toupee. Meanwhile, Kramer takes up smoking cigars and attempts to convince Elaine's boyfriend, a saxophonist named Hal, to take up the habit as well. As these storylines unfold, Jerry becomes increasingly fixated on the fact that Dolores never gives him a massage.

The episode opens with Jerry introducing his new girlfriend, Dolores, to Elaine at Monk's Cafe. As they chat, Jerry becomes increasingly fascinated by Dolores's job as a masseuse, asking her multiple questions about what it's like to give massages. He even asks her to give him a massage, but she declines, saying that she prefers to keep her work life and her personal life separate.

Later, Elaine suggests that George should go out with Dolores, as she thinks they would make a good match. Although initially reluctant, George eventually agrees, but becomes preoccupied with the fact that he will have to tell Dolores about his baldness. He seeks advice from Jerry, who suggests that he frame his baldness as an interesting personality trait, rather than a physical flaw.

Meanwhile, Kramer takes up smoking cigars, claiming that it will help him relax. He attempts to convince Hal, Elaine's boyfriend and a non-smoker, to give it a try as well, but Hal refuses, citing health concerns. Kramer is undeterred, however, and tries multiple tactics to get Hal to smoke, including using reverse psychology and offering to teach him some saxophone licks if he takes up the habit.

Back at Jerry's apartment, George and Dolores hit it off, but things take a turn when George confesses to her that he is bald and wears a toupee. Although Dolores initially seems understanding, she becomes visibly uncomfortable and flees the apartment. George is left humiliated and angry, feeling like Dolores rejected him solely because of his appearance.

Meanwhile, Jerry becomes increasingly fixated on the fact that Dolores never gave him a massage, even though he is dating a masseuse. He tries to convince her to give him a massage, but she continues to refuse, insisting that she prefers to keep work and personal life separate. This fixation becomes a recurring theme throughout the episode, with Jerry bringing it up repeatedly in conversation.

As the episode draws to a close, George confronts Dolores at her place of work and demands to know why she rejected him. She reveals that she was actually put off by George's dishonesty, rather than his baldness, and the two have a heart-to-heart conversation about their respective dating woes. In the end, Dolores agrees to go on another date with George, and Kramer learns an important lesson about the dangers of smoking cigars.

Overall, "The Masseuse" is a classic episode of Seinfeld that showcases the show's signature blend of observational humor and absurd situations. The episode's various storylines intertwine in unpredictable ways, leading to a satisfying conclusion that highlights the absurdity of the characters' day-to-day lives. With memorable moments like George's baldness reveal and Kramer's cigar-smoking antics, this episode is sure to delight both longtime fans of the show and newcomers alike.