Ep 5. Fast Food Drive Through

This week's mission takes the all-time cake for layers of complication. It's really one of our most creative missions ever. You're gonna love it... The Roadies motor on over to Brisbane where they park it in a sea-side trailer resort. The engine isn't even cool when the manager of the park brings Chadwick a letter. It's from Skye, his ex-girlfriend. Shayne suggests Chad read the ominous letter after dinner, but Chad ignores this suggestion and strolls away on his own, tearing at the envelope. Chad privately reveals the contents of the letter: Skye is mad at Chad for leaving her without saying goodbye - she feels Chad owes her something. Chad explains that Skye wanted marriage and a family and he couldn't offer here those things - not just yet anyway. Chad and Skye decided to separate from each other and meditate on the situation. But soon, Skye was dating other boys and Chad was devastated. Chad feels he owes Skye nothing. Later that night, Piggy tries to comfort Chad, reminding him that it's OK to be miserable for a little while. Notice how Piggy is right there when Chad is feeling low. Just in case he needs some comfort. A shoulder to cry on. A bosom for a pillow… After a tasty Australian supper, Shayne discovers a new clue taped to the door of the Winnie. As the others gather around, Shayne reads the clue aloud. "Travel to the fork in the road and find the restaurant Too Wong." Are we going to be cooking? The next morning, the Roadettes race to Too Wong, where they are greeted by a handsome young chef. Mr. Chef explains that the mission is a cooking competition, involving three courses. So break into two teams and the first thing we must do is buy groceries. As per usual, it's Shayne, Susie, and Chad VS. Christina, Kefla, and Piggy. The Chef hands over a long, involved grocery list to the Rulers and they dash to the nearest grocery store. As they pile their carts full of exotic ingredients, Christina confesses, "I really want to win this mission - I need to win this mission!" The Rulers dash back to the restaurant where the chef is waiting for them with two identical boxes, loaded with cooking equipment. But why the boxes of stuff? Aren't we going to be cooking right here in your kitchen? No. Where are we cooking? Buckle up! The Chef steers the Roadies over to a local race track, where two mini-Winnies are waiting. You'll be cooking inside the Winnie. And will it be moving? Yes it will. Who will be driving? One member of your team will drive while the other two cook. Oh, and you have to keep the speed up - don't let it drop below 20mph (should be 20 kph, billy). And you have to complete at least 22 laps around the track, or your team will be disqualified. Oh, and, see all those orange cones out there on the track? Make sure you weave through them. After the race is over, the food will be judged on taste and presentation. And our judges will be deducting points for spillage. Judges? Now a golf cart whizzes up to the scene. Can it be? Yes, it's Timmy and Christian from season II! Meet your judges! Susie is thrilled - Timmy is her ultimate dream-date. Now first things first, we have to get the ingredients and the pots and pans into the vans. And that's where the mission begins. The Chef reveals that the Roadies must strap on inline skates and SKATE the equipment to the vans, relay-race style. On your mark, get set, SKATE. Susie has never skated before, and she drops her tray of utensils before she can get it in the door. Kefla is skating fine, but can't figure out the breaking system. He just crashes into the side of the van - hey, that's a breaking system too. Now climb aboard. Shayne is at the wheel for team blue, and Piggy is helming for team red. Floor it! So the Winnies are rolling and the first thing you'll notice is that sweat is pouring down the faces of our little chefs-in-training. They're chopping and stirring and trying to maintain balance and make sure the pots don't fly off the burners and make sure they don't chop off a finger and, hey, SLOW DOWN! Susie is driving Chad crazy with her obsessive fan chant, "Timmy, Timmy, in my Winnie - will you marry me Timmy?!" Timmy thought he was just judging - he didn't know he was going to be accosted. But, hey, Susie is pretty cute after all. She privately confesses, "I've done research on Timmy - I know where he works and I know where members of his family live. But I'm not a stalker." What do they call it nowadays? Meanwhile, in the red Winnie, Christina confesses to Christian that Piggy failed her driving test. Then why is she at the wheel?! Apparently she can't cook… It's the last lap, and Chad is putting the finishing touches on his masterpiece as Susie stands by to make sure none of it spills. Shayne is putting the pedal to the metal, trying to catch up to Piggy, who has taken the lead. Meanwhile, in the other Winnie, Piggy is suddenly possessed by the spirit of Speed Racer. She starts taking the cones head-on, leaving them squashed in her wake. Kefla and Christina are bouncing around like balls in a pinball machine, and needless to say their food is flying. There's no way they'll win now. With failure eminent, Christina takes the mission to the next, appropriate, Dali-esque level, deciding that her prawns must be set free - she starts tossing her seafood out the window. And that's not all. At the finish line, as everyone leaps out of their respective vans, Christina instigates a food fight. Soon, celery stalks are flying. Amidst the insanity, Chadwick presents his perfect platter. It looks tasty and Timmy gives it a try. Delicious! Chad and the blue group take the prize, as per usual. Hang in there, Christina... That evening, Piggy takes another stab a cheering up the dejected Chad. She presses him to reveal if he would date a "halfie" like herself. Chad replies that he is only concerned with a true heart. Piggy reminds him that gratuitous sex can be fun too. Chad is blushing, but Pig presses, "just come on - we're supposed to have sex while on vacation!" But Chad won't have it. And we do mean IT. Keep trying, Piggy.