Ep 3. Got Milk?

You know the Winnie is difficult to maneuver. It's not like jumping behind the wheel of your Honda Civic. You've got to take those turns wide. And if you find your little bootie landing in Australia, and you find a Winnie waiting for you at the curb (packed with funtime gear) you'll quickly see that the steering wheel is on the right, while traffic flows on the left side of the street -- how's that for a brain teaser?! So you can certainly understand why we couldn't let the Road Rules cadets jump behind the wheel without checking out their skills first -- it's time for a driving test! Christina and Suzie are relegated to the back of the bus right off the bat -- these girls have no experience driving a stick, and this is not the place to learn. Kefla takes a nice turn behind the wheel, passing the test with flying colors. As do Chad and Shayne. Now it's time for la Pig. She's not doing too well. She's cursing. Luckily, no other cars are on the road. They must have heard she was coming. Piggy flunks -- and she's not happy. Hey, some people prefer to be driven. Later that night, bodies are getting slippery-when-wet as Shayne and Suzie take a private dip in the pool at the hostel. Shayne admits he's attracted to Suzie, and she confesses she thinks Shayne is "a hottie." They can't take their eyes off each other. You look pretty good in that bathing suit, babe. Back in the room, Kefla is revealing his sexual secrets to Piggy. Seems Mr. special K uses maintain cream -- it's desensitizing cream that allows a man to maintain an erection longer. No, it doesn't make it longer, it just maintains, sorry. Piggy is impressed. Meanwhile, Christina is retrieving the next clue from the front desk: "roll up your sleeves and get to work, milking the animals at the Australian Reptile Farm." Milk? The Roadies need the money, and all agree "we'll do what we have to do." After a hearty breakfast, the Roadies motor on over to the Reptile Park. They change into their spiffy khaki uniforms, and Suzie wastes not time complimenting Shayne, "you look good in earth tones." The manager of the park, MARK, explains: you'll split into teams and get some of these chores done - boys against girls. Chad, Shayne, and Kefla, you're in charge of the kangaroos. We need a head count. The boys chase the cute critters over the park grounds, until they shout with confidence, "all present and accounted for, sir!" Meanwhile, the girlies are weighing Koala bears. No, these animals are not bulimic worry-warts, it's just part of the weekly maintenance -- making sure everybody is getting their vitamins and minerals. They are so cute! Now the manager explains, "you've done an excellent job, but now it's time to face your fears." Into the snake pit. No, not Hollywood. The reptile house. The Roadies are led into a large room where the walls are lined with glass cages. And those cages are filled with snakes. The manager of the park explains, "we're going to milk snakes for their venom. This venom saves the lives of snake-bite victims." And we're not talking about milking a little garden snake here. We're milking a TIGER SNAKE - the forth deadliest snake in the world. Shayne is up first. He holds a little juice glass with a swath of pink plastic capped over the opening. Mark retrieves the snake from it's cage, one hand gripping the tail, the other hand squeezing the jaw open at the joints. SNAP - the snake has locked it's teeth onto the rim of the cup -- and Shayne didn't even flinch. Mark explains, "Notice how the snake's head is pulsing -- he's squirting venom out of his mouth." Kefla, you're next. But this man is not into this mission. "Do you have any gloves?!" Nice try. Kefla takes the cup as Mark removes another snake from another cage. This snake is hissing and Mark explains, "this one is already mad." Kefla is freaking, "I gotta have the snake that's pissed off?! How about another?" Kefla jerks his hand away just as the snake is about to lunge for the cup. Now that could have ended badly. Mark reminds Kefla, "don't move your hand!" SNAP - the snake locks it's jaws onto Kefla's cup and the animal starts spitting. Now it's time to move on and clean some cages. Whew -- that sounds a little less dangerous. Mark leads the Roadies into another room, explaining, "you remove the snake from it's cage, drop it into that bin, put clean water into the cage, and replace the snake into the cage." Chad, you're up first. Now, this sounds easy, but remember, the snake is slithering all the while. And you have to use this little metal cane with a hook on the end of it to keep the snake in line. Just when Chad has gotten the critter into the bin, the animal leaps out at everyone, sending the girls into a screaming fit. Chad taps the snake back into the bin and Mark slams the lid closed. Whew. Chad cleans the cage and replaces the snake without too much trouble. Now it's Piggy's turn. Remarkably, she gets right in there with the cane. And although she looks like she's going to puke, it's mission accomplished in no time. On to the next room. Mark explains that Suzie and Christina must remove the Burmese Python from it's cage and while they are holding it, while this animal is wrapping itself around your ribs, squeezing slowly and tightly, the others will clean the cage. The girls step up to the cage and as Mark opens the door, the snake HISSES loudly. Suzie steps back, "that's not a good sign Mark - let's talk about that!" But there's no time for chit-chat. The girls haul the animal out of it's cage -- it must weigh a hundred pounds -- as the others scamper for clean water and paper. HURRY! Suzie is holding her breath -- the snake is warmer than she thought it would be. She can feel it slithering along her shoulders -- now it's wriggling along her neck and she can barely stand still! The cage is clean and the girls stuff the beast back inside. Next room! There's more? Mark leads the Roadies into a room designed to recreate a jungle habitat. He explains, "all six of you must carry Big Betty into the feeding room." Well, Big Betty is twenty feet long and weighs like three hundred pounds. The Roadies heave the monster out of it's wading pool and carry it into the feeding room, where they pack it into an iron box. Now drop the rats inside the box. RATS?! Well, what did you think she ate? A rat is released and Betty swallows and belches. Yuck. Mark commends the Roadies for a job well done. No one got bit! And more importantly, he hands over the much needed cash. Chad calls for a "sweaty group hug," and everyone presses together. Shayne counters, "anyone for a group shower?" Nice try. But Suzie privately confesses, "I hang out with Shayne, and we're just friends, but I'm afraid I'll get into trouble." Once bitten