Ep 2. Floxim in the Sea

The new cast is cuddling up to each other as they motor from the paint-ball warehouse over to MARE ISLAND and the COAST GUARD NAVAL BASE. Oscar has taken the wheel and he's taking the turns a little too sharply. Erika braces herself against the wall as Kalle reminds island boy "driving the Winnie is not like driving a regular car." You can say that again... Jake and Kalle settle in hip-to-hip at the dining table, working the laptop computer together. Using the mapping software, Jake shows Kalle where his Philly apartment is located. Kalle shows Jake where her Boulder apartment is located. They're kind of bonding. Are sparks sparking? You be the judge. Kalle privately explains that, so far, she feels closest to Jake. She reveals that although she has been in a relationship with boyfriend Brian for five years, they have agreed that Kalle has the option to do whatever she wants during the ten week trip. Hmmm... The roadies arrive at Treasure Island and pull into the Coast Guard base. They are immediately escorted to their dorm rooms by a stiff-backed military officer. Petty officer Crocket leads the boyz to a jail-sized suite and orders them to strip and change into their uniforms. Oscar quickly explains that he can't strip because he's not wearing underwear. What if you got in an accident, Oscar? Crocket reminds Oscar that undies are mandatory in the Coast Guard. But not in Puerto Rico, apparently... Oscar counters that undies are ball-crushers. Reluctantly, the Puerto Rican prince changes into his new duds, quickly complaining that his pants are too tight: "my butt is too big for these pants." Crocket quickly retorts, "I won't comment on your butt." But why not... The rulers file into the dining room for some chow. They're really starving now. Oscar is hoping for some beans and rice. The roadies retrieve their cardboard food boxes from the chow line and open them to find they will be munching on tomato sandwiches and dry crackers. Not exactly a five course meal. Now another officer, Antoinette Porter, steps over to the table to welcome the kids. Immediately, Oscar asks her for a new pair of pants. She refuses to consider his request, deems him a "trouble-maker, loud-mouthed and defiant." She orders him to execute twenty five push-ups, "right now!" Yes, sir! Er.. Yes, Ma'am! Thank you sir, may I please have another... After Porter takes her leave, the Roadies all tell Oscar to drop the attitude - your actions could get us all punished! Oscar denies having an attitude problem and reminds his travel mates that he will always speak his mind. The next morning, the roadies are rudely awakened by revelry. They crawl into their uniforms and are quickly escorted onto a large ship - the cutter Long Island. They are introduced to Captain John who explains that their mission is to practice for and then execute a search and rescue mission. Kewl, huh? Now it's a day of drills. Pull on fire-suits and learn how to use the fire hose. Pull on the gumby suits, jump in the water, and learn the correct formation necessary to survive while stranded in the ocean Observe radar. Handle the guns. Release the life boats. On top of all this intense work, everyone is starting to get sea-sick. That's right. Barf-a-rama. Yuck. I see you enjoyed your lunch... At the end of this grueling day, Jake gathers his roadies into the bow of the ship. Time for a confession: "I'm leaving this boat." What? Why? Jake explains that he absolutely hates the Coast Guard and cannot bear another minute on board the S.S. Barf. Would it be OK with all of you if I bailed and slept in the Winnie? Erika quickly responds, NO WAY! She reminds Jake that she and Kalle hated the paint-ball mission, but they didn't quit. Vince is neutral, "I don't care what you do." That means a lot to me, Vinny... Oscar confesses that he would perceive Jake as a quitter. Oscar reminds Jake that he has eight shoulders to lean on - "we need you here with us." Kalle is silent, but privately admits she's got a sinking feeling in her stomach. Is it love or something I ate... Kalle pulls Jake aside for a one-on-one heart-to-heart. "You're the one I get along with the best. I would take it as a personal insult if you leave. I want to spend these ten weeks with you." What? Jake's ears, heart and... it all just perks right up. I want to spend these ten weeks with you... That sounds like a proposition. Jake decides to stay. Score Kalle! Later that night, the boat cuts out into deeper waters. Kalle confesses that she has never been on a boat before. Suddenly, she starts turning green. Oh, no. Here it comes. Put your head over the side! Now it's Oscar's turn. Was it better the second time? Well, heck, now everyone is barfing their guts out. What a way to get to know each other. Oscar has an epiphany: "now I know why sailors are so angry." Ey, ey, matie... The next morning, as Kalle mans the short wave radio, the ship receives a MAYDAY call from a small pleasure boat. The lone male passenger is frantic - the bow of his vessel is on fire and his boat is sinking. Kalle assures him the Coast Guard is on the way! The boyz pull on their fire-fighting suits as Erika lowers the life-boat. Here we go! Search and rescue...