Ep 14. Don't Drop the Soap

During the Knicks basketball game, the Road Rulers discover a clue as it is broadcast over the enormous digital score board. Now it's off to New York City for love in the afternoon! New York, New York. Our Road Rulers are spinning in delirium as they stroll through the impressive streets of the City-that-never-sleeps. Mirrored monoliths loom, reflecting clouds into infinity. This is the city where news and deals are made. This is the city where Kalle will hang her hat after fighting for her handsome reward. This is the island where Jake will kick it as he chases Kalle and follows his heart. Jake and Kalle take a late-night stroll over to the apartment building where Kalle will be living while attending classes. Kalle is thrilled that Jake will finally meet her best friend, Nicki. But she's also nervous. It's time to meet her new roommates - two girls Kalle has never laid eyes on! Up the elevator, in the door, and it's introductions all around. Everyone is kewl and it's all gonna work out fine. What a relief! Jake and Nicki sneak away together for a trip to the market and an opportunity for quality bonding time. They're family, after all! Next morning, the Roadsters are scrubbing and primping for a day on the set of All My Children. As Erika blow-dries her perfect mane, she explains she has never seen this particular soap opera: "All I know is one of the characters is attractive and bitchy and named Erica - how appropriate!" She said it, not me... At ABC Studios, the Roadsters are met by JUDY BLYE WILSON, casting director for All My Children. Judy explains the drill - this morning you audition! Three of you will receive parts on the show. The two who are cut will spend the day as gophers-to-the-stars. That translates into assistants to MARK and KELLY. Who are Mark and Kelly? Real life husband and wife who play lovers Mateo and Hayley on the show. Judy leads the nervous actors-in-waiting to, what else, the waiting area. She hands out scripts, explaining "you've got fifteen minutes to practice." Put on your DeNiro, pull on your Demi... Times up! Judy escorts Vince into a large closet and positions him in front of a small video camera. Now, lets run those lines! Vince delivers a fine performance, but Judy is not impressed. She asks him to read again, only this time "really sell it." Next up, Erika. She confesses, "I feel stupid." Now it's Oscar; he stutters with nervousness. Kalle steps before the lens, confessing that she feels like an idiot. Now Jake, who offers a stellar audition. Of course, Jake believes he's nabbed the part - no question. I'd like to thank the members of the Academy... After holing up in her office for a few moments, Judy reappears to deliver the verdict. Erika, Oscar, and Vince will smile for the cameras, while Jake and Kalle will go-for anything Kelly or Mark desire. Kalle quietly confesses that she is jealous of the others. Judy explains that Kalle was cut from the cast because she looks too much like Kelly. It's no reflection on your talent, baby. Jake reveals that his ego is literally shattered. Sorry Jake, there's no glue strong enough to repair that... Vince, Oscar, and Erika are whisked off to the wardrobe department while Jake and Kalle are shoved into Kelly's dressing room to sort fan mail. As the gophers skim letters from stalkers and gawkers, the actors are fitted into their "waitress" uniforms. Next, our little soap bubbles are escorted to the makeup department to get their pancake applied. Back in the dressing room, Jake and Kalle share a French toast lunch with Kelly and Mark. Erika, Vince and Oscar are escorted onto the set. Erika admits she is not nervous at all. Vince confesses he is terrified. Oscar is speechless. Rolling! Erika and Vince walk on and walk off, don't blink or you'll miss them. Lucky Oscar actually delivers a line. That means he actually gets paid! Hey, this acting stuff is pretty cool! Meanwhile, Jake and Kalle are dashing all over the city, running errands for Kelly and Mark. Buy pickles. Pick out fresh lemons. Retrieve the baby's clothes from store. Baby's clothes? That's right, Kelly is pregnant! Kalle and Jake are happy to help out, recognizing Kelly as a really kewl chick - not stuck up at all! Jake suggests they buy Kelly a stuffed animal. For the baby, of course. Back at stars' fabulous penthouse apartment, Jake and Kalle present Mark and Kelly with the loot. The couple just love the stuffed animal! Kelly woofs down a pickle andbconfesses she needs the happy couple to run just one more errand. "Go get me a hot dog from the stand on the corner of 66th and Columbus." Remember, she's eating for two Maybe three... Jake and Kalle hot foot it to the hot dog stand, where they are met by Erika, Oscar, and Vincent. What are you doing here? Seems Judy sent the actors on a hunt for an afternoon snack. The little-old-lady running the hot dog stand hands over the food - but this ain't no dog in a bun. It's a severed human foot! Now that's an Achilles heel. And there's writing on it! "Walk through fire in battery park to claim your handsome reward." Fire walk with me..