Ep 20. Of Past Regret and Future Fear

Of Past Regret and Future Fear is the twentieth episode of the fourth season of the American medical drama series ER. The episode was directed by Christopher Chulack and written by Neal Baer and Lydia Woodward. It was originally aired on NBC on April 30, 1998.

The episode follows the personal and professional lives of the doctors and nurses working at the fictional County General Hospital in Chicago. Many of the hospital staff members are struggling with unresolved issues from the past and concerns about their future. Dr. John Carter (played by Noah Wyle), in particular, is dealing with doubt and hesitation about his future in medicine.

Dr. Carter is facing a challenging time after he is rejected by the surgical residency program. He feels defeated and wonders if he still even wants to continue in his career as a doctor. His mentor, Dr. Peter Benton (played by Eriq La Salle), tries to encourage him and help him through this difficult time. However, Dr. Carter seems to be in a dark place and continues to spiral downward.

Elsewhere in the hospital, nurse Carol Hathaway (played by Julianna Margulies) is struggling with issues from her past. She has been seeing a therapist in an effort to deal with her depression and find ways to move forward with her life. She is engaged to Dr. Doug Ross (played by George Clooney) but is still hesitant about making a permanent commitment to him, given her history with addiction and her recent mental health struggles.

Dr. Kerry Weaver (played by Laura Innes) is also grappling with issues from her past. In this episode, she has a chance encounter with a woman who she had a brief relationship with years earlier. Dr. Weaver had always thought that this woman was "the one that got away," and this encounter dredges up old feelings and regrets. She is further impacted when the woman suddenly dies and she is forced to deal with her emotions surrounding the loss and what might have been.

Meanwhile, Dr. Benton is dealing with a crisis in his personal life. His mother-in-law is in town and causing significant stress for him and his wife, Carla (played by Lisa Nicole Carson). His attempts to deal with his tense family situation only lead to more conflict and frustration.

Throughout the episode, the hospital staff works to treat a variety of patients with serious medical issues. They must balance their own personal struggles and concerns with the urgent needs of their patients and the fast-paced work environment of the ER.

Overall, Of Past Regret and Future Fear is a powerful and emotionally charged episode that tackles a range of complex and difficult issues. It explores the intersection of personal and professional struggles and the impact that past experiences can have on the present. The episode is anchored by strong performances from the talented ensemble cast and features a well-written script that effectively balances the diverse storylines to create a cohesive, engaging narrative.