Happy Festivus! The 2011 Yidio Airing of Grievances

"The tradition of Festivus begins with the Airing of Grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people! And now, you're gonna hear about it!" So says Frank Costanza on "Seinfeld" as he explains the holiest of Festivus traditions in the classic episode "The Strike."

Given that it's December 23rd (and officially Festivus), and we've already completed our Feats of Strength and put up the Festivus pole, we thought we'd do our own Airing of Grievances for 2011.

And we're starting with you, Kim Kardashian. You with your lack of discernable talent, your atrocious music videos and your over-the-top and over-exposed faux-matrimonial shenanigans - you faked a wedding, reaped the financial rewards and yet you still persist in flaunting your extreme wealth in our still-feeling-burned faces while complaining loudly about your justififed detractors. We have serious grievance with you, you annoying, whiny, self-entitled, plasticene hussy.

And YOU, Charlie Sheen, with your self-absorbed tennis-ball sized drug binges followed by an overblown publicity tour, all while your two kids are poorly taken care of by a coked-up harlot. Are you really winning this year, or are you just a washed-up, pompous and bloviated drug addict who has had his ego spoon-fed for way too long? Dude, let's be honest, for a big part of this year, you were just a sad, chemically dependent shell of a human being who clearly didn't give to sh&*s about anyone except for himself, family be damned, and managed to broadcast his failures as a man and a father to the world like they were something to be proud of. Go fight for your country, fight fires, or man the frontlines of the war on crime in this country and tell us about the winning. In the meantime, clean your sh^& up and take care of your children.

Andy Dick? Man are you a d&*k. That's all we've got.

By the way, Madonna, boy did you ever come off as a rotten bit^& this year. First there was the whole "I loathe hydrangeas" rich-bit&* hissy-fit, and then you told a crowd of Telluride Film Festival volunteers to look away from you as you walked by as if you were the royal heir to some special throne. Sorry babe, that throne now belongs to brilliant batsh^& loonball Lady Gaga, who actually acts like she appreciates her fans and the money they spend on her records.

Speaking of putrid souls, Fox "Follow the Money" host Eric Bolling can sure eat a big bowl of dic&*. Did you seriously run a segment on your show claiming the Muppets are commies? Have you no heart? Have you no common decency? No sense of humor? Do you just hate kids, freedom and the American Way? Boo and hiss and humbug, sir. Never ever ever dis the Muppets, man. You have grieved us badly.

Which reminds us, NBC, you've really decided to fu&* us squarely in the a@# this year haven't you? I mean, come on, you axe "Community," a show you know so many of us love, and keep the worthless waste of airtime that is "Whitney"? And you try to pass it off like some "mid-season hiatus"? You know who needs a hiatus? Your fuc^&ing programming execs, that's who.

And another thing...What? What's that? You think someone else deserves a term to air their grievances? Fair enough. We're gonna cede the floor. Commence the airing of your own grievances in the comments section below.

Watch the origin of the Festivus Airing of Grievances: