'The X Factor' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap - 'Auditions #6'

Hey, remember last season when "The X Factor" exploited 13-year-olds like Rachel Crow and made her emotional breakdown on stage part of the show's drama? Well, this cliffhanger puts that to shame. Trevor Moran is pretty clearly not in good shape, as he's flat out passed out on the ground. Apparently the kid was dehydrated and "overly excited."

They give him some water and he heads out on stage. He then proceeds to half-rap, kinda-sing his way through "Sexy and I Know It" with as little vocals as possible. This is a vocal competition show, isn't it? Apparently you get points for gusto, as all the judges loved him. There is no indication that he can sing at all. They must be hurting for preteens this year. Trevor is sent through.

Owen Stuart is 16 but says that he would move to New York and marry his girlfriend with his $5 million. Aww, remember when things were this dramatic and impulsive? Young love. How adorable. I mean unbearable. It works on Britney and Demi, but Simon is rolling his eyes. This is why, through it all, I love Simon.

He does "Airplanes" and does a decent job as white dudes rapping go. The singing is barely passable. He misses some notes and has pretty awful phrasing. Still, L.A. enjoyed it, because L.A. is impressed by everything. Britney says "you didn't wow me." Yay Britney! Simon, for some reason, loved it... he says it's because Owen is focused and dedicated. Britney is the only one to give a no, and bless her for it. The young talent this season is pretty lacking. He calls his girlfriend Tori afterward and says "I'm gonna do this for you." His mom is standing next to him, and looks pretty embarassed by the whole thing.

Freddie Combs used to weigh 920 pounds and almost died, because he was 920 pounds and all. Since then, he has lost about 400 pounds, but still has to make his way around in a wheelchair. He hopes the judges will "give a fat boy a chance." He tells the judges how he used to weigh 920 pounds and now weighs 540. The audience applauds the 540 wildly, but clearly with some ambivalence. Do you applaud someone who weighs 540 pounds, after he lost 400? I suppose so.

Anyway. Freddie sings "Wind Beneath My Wings" and has a nice enough voice. Too much vibrato for my taste... it's a bit theatrical. He sings sort of how you would expect an obese minister to sing. He gets four yeses nonetheless, and Simon makes a deal with Freddie to stick with his rehabilitation, much like how he told Chris Rene to stay clean.

Lauren Jauregi is another teenager, hopefully one who sings a little better than Trevor and Owen. Her family seems nice. There's not much else to her, but what do you expect? She's 16. Nothing's happened to her yet. She sings "If I Ain't Got You" like stuff has happened to her, though. Which is to say, she sings it with emotion along with strength and precision. Pretty solid. Her dad is in tears backstage too, which is cute. Four yeses for Lauren.

Jordyn Foley is just 12, which is way too young for this sort of thing. This show is crazy for letting these kids put themselves through this. She's impossibly bubbly and dressed all in sequins and pink with pigtails, which leads Simon to say "oh no" when she walks out on stage. They cut to backstage, where Jordyn's friends and family are. She has a frickin' army behind her.

Simon says, "You're not going to sing 'Annie,' are you?" to which Jordyn gives an uncomfortable silence. "I'm allergic to 'Tomorrow,'" says Simon. She does it anyway. It's not very good. But Britney, Demi and L.A. are suckers, and they all say yes. Simon gives a pained expression that matches mine.

Here's the thing: Jordyn is crying already having been sent through. Imagine how horribly she's going to be bawling when she inevitably gets sent home.

Wow, and actually Jordyn is the last audition we see, as the rest of the show is just a debriefing from the judges. Really? That was the big bang you went out on? Oof.

So basically, I saw maybe one or two people who are clear finalists, but nobody who blew the roof off the way Melanie Amaro or Josh Krajcik did. This is going to be a rough season, talent-wise, unless there's someone that we didn't see who's going to emerge during boot camp. Let's hope that's the case.