'The X Factor' Season 1, Episode 5 Recap - 'Boot Camp #1'

The preliminary auditions are over, and we have our first wave of 162 contestants. Some of them are great, others are... well, questionable. But that's what Boot Camp is for: weeding out the weak ones. The intro also promises that we'll learn which judges will mentor which contestant group (Boys, Girls, Over 30s, and Groups), and plenty of tears from contestants and Paula alike.

They had the contestants all approach the theater at the same time, which provides a ridiculous visual of more than 160 people from ages 14 to god-knows-what dragging their suitcases behind them.

They're all packed onto the stage first to learn some choreography, but Brian Bradley (the 14-year-old rapper who sang "Stop Looking at My Mom") refuses to dance. "You don't see Jay-Z on stage dancing," he notes. Yeah, but he's not in a singing and dancing competition, doofus.

Everybody's up to sing in front of the judges to prove themselves again, and we're seeing a lot of the same stuff. Siameze sucks at singing, J Mark Inman is a weirdo, Chris the trash collector is great, and so is Melanie Amaro. Stacy does well, but goes "way over the top" as far as Simon is concerned.

The first cuts will take the numbers down to 100, and we can see that Stacy did in fact make it through, along with all the others. Then we get to see all of the losers get cut, which includes Inman. Thank goodness. He manages to get a little more screen time by screaming "I HAVE NO LIFE!" in the halls. Bye, douchebag.

The remaining 100 contestants are woken up bright and early the next day and are met by L.A. Reid, who tells them that their first challenge is to put together an ensemble performance with some of the other contestants. They're all assigned songs and given five hours to put it together.

Drew, Caitlin, The Anser, Audrey, Elaine, Clayton and Dexter are the first group, and they've been assigned "Creep" by Radiohead. Their first stop is with the choreographer, and the thought of choreographing "Creep" makes me shudder. Also disappointing is the fact that 14-year-old Drew has never heard the song before today. You darned kids these days with your Katy Purrys and your Lady GooGoos!

Dexter, meanwhile, is still acting like James Brown and Mick Jagger, which is exactly what the judges told him NOT to do. So, way to follow directions dude. Too bad, I liked him. Audrey Turner is also in this group, and apparently she was married to Ike Turner, which seems like something we should have learned earlier.

Drew starts off their performance, and totally rocks it. Dexter is totally forgettable. The Anser is actually pretty impressive, and their harmony is very impressive. Audrey also gets a vote of confidence from the judges, but they do note that Dexter was a little weak. Overall, though, a nice performance from the first group... though I'm not sure why they spent any time with the choreographer at all.

Jazzlyn, Melanie, Heather, Aaron, Arin, Special Guest, and Stacy are up next, and they'll be singing "Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" by U2. Another terrific dance number! Jazzhands! Some time is devoted to Jazzlyn's lack of confidence and Stacy's lack of training, and we see Melanie offering ideas to the group.

The arrangement has some awful, distracting beat under it, but the vocals are still pretty good from the indivdual performers, especially Melanie. Jazzlyn, unfortunately, forgot the lyrics. She recovered okay, but Simon definitely noticed it. We'll see if that gets her in trouble later.

The next group is Dani, Skyelor, Leroy, Chelsea, Ben, Paige, and Cari. The very pretty Cari, we're reminded, was called "boring" by Simon even though L.A. loved her. "Desperado" by Eagles will be their song, and the group has two country singers in Skyelor and Dani, so they should fit in well.

Paige starts off and is okay. Leroy follows up and gives a heartfelt verse. And sure enough, Dani fits the song well... but Skyelor sounded unsure of himself. Too bad, as this would have been a good song for him if he hadn't forgotten the words.

Tinuke, Jennifay, Lauren, Reina and Brian are in the next group, and the presence of Brian means the song has to have singing and rapping... so they get "Wishin' on a Star" by Jay-Z. Brian takes the first verse, and Reina steps up to rap another verse and actually does pretty well.

The performance itself is a bit of a mess: Brian is distracting and keeps interrupting others. L.A. says "he's just too young." He's also kind of a dick.

Josh, Tiger, Nick, Komple3te, Andrew, James and Thomas will be singing "Superman" by Five For Fighting. A song dominated by falsetto with a bunch of dudes with lungs and gritty voices... should be interesting. Tiger has a lot to prove here as L.A. gave him some rough feedback.

Nick, 15, starts off and completely forgets the words. Tiger and Josh both impress, though we don't hear if L.A.'s opinion of Tiger has changed.

Nick Voss, Chesi, Phillip, Tiah, Robert, Kelly and Austin are up next. Tiah has a lot to prove as she had to sing twice to convince Paula and Nicole to agree with Simon. It's the audition that lead to thrown water bottles and overturned bowls of blueberries.

The group sings "Feeling Good" by Nina Simone... or maybe they're doing the Muse version, judging by the arrangement. Tiah gets out there and struts her stuff, and seems to win the women over. Her stage presence is enough to elicit a smug "ahem" from Simon.

Next up: Rachel, Joshua, 4Shore, Hayley, Illusion Confusion (really?), Caylie, De'Quan, and Ellona. They get "I Have Nothing" by Whitney Houston, which they're all very excited about. The vocal coach notes that they got the hardest song, and 13-year-old Rachel Crow is especially having trouble with locating the key changes.

Sure enough, during the performance Rachel slides into the key changes. But she does well enough. Overall a pretty strong performance with a difficult ballad.

One more group for the night, made up of Siameze, Jeremiah, Song Preservation Society, Cesar, Makenna and Brock, Stero Hogzz, and Emily. We get a little clip package of Brock and Makenna (remember them? They're in love!) set to the piano song from "Love Actually." Urrrrrrk sorry had to vomit.

Their song is Snow Patrol's "Run," a great song but another slow one. Emily, 12, is freaking out a bit... but when she sings the chorus, she really kills it (despite some lyrical errors). The Stereo Hoggz provide some jerky choreography. And despite some distracting whooping from a couple of singers, they blend pretty well.

That's it for the night, no cuts yet. Tomorrow we'll find out who makes it and who goes home, and learn who will mentor each group. Hey, did you notice how much nicer that was to watch than the auditions? How about that?