What's Sexy? To VIctoria's Secret, It's Blondes

Marilyn Monroe said it, and apparently the world's foremost makers of fine underwear wouldn't argue: gentlemen prefer blondes.

The lingerie-spinning provacateurs Wednesday delivered their first-ever 2012 What Is Sexy? List, and as far Hollywood Life reports they're concerned, it's a sexy field of gold. The collection annoints the brand's chosen Sexiest Songstress, Mom, Tweeter and other categories' respective goddesses among the fairer sex.

And oh, what an unsurprising, by-the-numbers definition of "sexy" they write.

To rattle off just a few honorees, Britney Spears has been deemed Sexiest Songstress, Charlize Theron is Sexiest Actress and Emma Stone has the Sexiest Sense of Humor. Let's just stop and assess this list by those names alone.

Granted, Theron is a statuesque specimen of a woman with appreciable acting gifts of range and intelligence. So, no faulting that choice. But to the polar opposite - Britney Spears? Come on. If she tops the Sexiest Songstress list, then Victoria's Secret has made naught but the statement that she's simply considered by them to be the prettiest person who happens to do a certain thing for a living. Why not consider saluting an artist who's not only easy on the eyes, but exudes and defines a "sexiness" that runs futher than skin deep? Music can be such a sensual, evocative medium - much more so than it is a visual one, of course.

If we're defining "what's sexy" in music, why not ponder every aspect of what makes music "sexy?" Oh, but come, now. There couldn't possibly be one except Britney who's so well-rounded in an area beyond her breasts, hips and ass.

Oh, wait.

And my own personal choice....

Here's the remaining list below. By all means, let me know via Facebook comments if you perchance agree that these are unsurprisingly superficial standards that fail to honestly - and if I may be so bold, daringly - redefine a "sexy" definition.

SEXIEST BIKINI BODY: AnnaLynne McCord

SEXIEST LEGS: Stacy Keibler

SEXIEST SUMMER STYLE: Blake Lively

SEXIEST SUMMER HAIR: Ashley Benson

SEXIEST SMILE: Jessica Chastain

SEXIEST EYES: Jennifer Lawrence

SEXIEST LIPS: Amanda Seyfried

SEXIEST CURVES: Amanda Heard (AUTHOR'S NOTE: I can only assume that votes were cast from an alternate timeline in which Christina Hendricks was never born...)

SEXIEST SENSE OF HUMOR: Emma Stone (AUTHOR'S NOTE: ...Or Kat Dennings, apparently...)

SEXIEST TV CAST: Pretty Little Liars (AUTHOR'S NOTE: ...Or "Smash"...or "Mad Men"...)

SEXIEST MOM: Beyonce

SEXIEST SONGSTRESS: Britney Spears

SEXIEST INTERNATIONAL IMPORT: Diane Kruger (AUTHOR'S NOTE: Not as long as Sofia Vergara draws a breath...)

SEXIEST SUMMER GLOW: Olivia Wilde

SEXIEST CYBER STAR: Elin Kling - StylebyKling.com

SEXIEST UP & COMING KNOCKOUT: Elizabeth Olsen

SEXIEST TWEETER: Kristen Bell