Watch Kevin Hart Spare Nobody In His MTV Video Music Awards Monologue

Do go on, MTV. I believe you were trying to tell Kevin Hart that jokes about Kristen Stewart's affair were off-limits?

The energetic comic took Thursday night's MTV Video Music Awards stage and told it like it was: "MTV made a mistake."

That's fine, he said. MTV is where mistakes belong, he said.

"Does he have any idea in how many senses he's right?" more than a few of us wondered.

Please, allow a supposition: it was a "mistake" to ever try to tell a stand-up comic what he will and won't joke about.

Stewart stepping out on now-estranged boyfriend and "Twilight" saga co-star Robert Pattinson has dominated entertainment headlines since her early-August admission to a tryst with married "Snow White and The Huntsman" director Rupert Sanders. Given MTV's franchise-long promotional relationship with Summit Entertainment - and Thursday night's presentation by Pattinson and co-star Taylor Lautner - of a 90-second world-premiere preview, the network was doing all it could to keep Summit complacent. That included trying to guarantee Hart wouldn't paint another target on Stewart's head.

Yes, "try" is the operative word.

Hart wasn't having it. "Everybody's mad at Kristen Stewart for making a mistake!" he told the raucous Staples Center crowd. And, oh, how we'd love to know if producers were really in his ear-piece as he claimed telling him to steer clear. "If she did, so what? It's over! Move on! Look on the bright side: They now part of the Seven Dwarves. You got Sleepy, Grumpy, Adultery, Cheatey ... They're in one big bubble!"

For the record, Stewart was indeed MIA from the VMAs. In lieu of attending the event, she elected - either of her own volition, or by Summit Entertainment's orders - to instead hop a Wednesday flight to the Toronto International Film Festival for the premiere screening of her role in the Jack Kerouac adaptation "On The Road."

Let's briefly get real about something, too: if MTV and Summit weren't in bed together promoting November's "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2," not a single complete f**k would've been given what Hart said about Stewart. This wasn't some gesture of magnanimous decency on MTV's part. It was a business decision. Too bad for them, Hart isn't in MTV's employ.

Hey, Hart said it from the get-go before he reminded MTV how it's done: MTV's made mistakes before.

"Russell Brand hosted. Twice!" he said, to cap of VMA pratfalls that included Kanye West rushing Taylor Swift's acceptance speech, Madonna smooching Britney Spears, and Lil' Mama crashing a Jay Z-Alicia Keys performance.

We aren't ones to spoil too much. To hear Hart's entire monologue - including pot-shots at "mistakes" by Frank Ocean, Chris Brown, Drake and Snooki - check out the clip below.