Watch James Franco and Winona Ryder Be Awesomely Bad in 'The Letter' Trailer

If you’ve been wondering what happened to James Franco since “127 Hours,” don’t worry. The actor slash writer has got plenty more on his plate than just magic brownies and Lindsay Lohan.

In fact, here’s the new trailer for his psychological thriller, featuring himself opposite doe-eyed Winona Ryder. Psychological thriller, that sounds promising, right?

The movie is called “The Letter,” and the plot involves Ryder, a playwright, who “begins to mentally unravel before premiere night. She is plagued by dreams and visions of being watched, but cannot decide if she is at the center of a manipulative plot, or simply losing her grip on reality.”

Being watched? They’re called security cameras, hon. Anyway, hasn't that storyline been a little played out by this point in human existence?

If you haven’t heard about the movie yet, don’t feel bad. Honestly, when I saw the trailer pop up my first reaction was, oh, good, Winona Ryder is still alive. That's nice.

But then I watched it, and all my dreams came true. The entire thing is shot like a campy made-for-television movie, and Ryder reads her lines like a high schooler recording a theater project. To be fair to the once great lady, the lines themselves are awful, and don’t leave a lot of room for improvement.

“I believe it’s all true, but it started with a dream… and then the dream ended. I think.”

Franco casts a lot of glances, but other than that I'm not sure what purpose he plays.

Watch the trailer if you enjoy watching Ryder’s trademark big-eyed blink of confusion.

Or if you like Franco’s face enough to forgive him for looking sulky in that creepy borderline way, the one where you’re not sure if you should hug him and laugh, or lock him in the bathroom and run down the street screaming.

Watch it if you will laugh at Ryder speaking in a man voice, because that made it for me.

But please, please, do not waste your money and see the entire movie. Laugh at the trailer, check behind the shower curtain for James Franco when you're peeing before bed, and call it a night. Do not let Lionsgate profit from this pile of hot mess.