'True Blood' Season 5, Episode 11 Recap - 'Sunset'

Last week's episode was nice and cohesive, since we only had a few storylines to focus on. This week's episode was a little less so, as we had to spend time with Alcide and his dad for some reason. Oh wait, I know the reason: shirtless Alcide. That's why.

Bill and Jessica:

Bill's having one of those days where you hear the voices of your false god in your head telling you that she's chosen you and that you should drink all of her blood. Mondays, am I right? Hahahahahahahahaha no seriously though he's going crazy.

Bill's little Lilith reveries are interrupted by Jessica, who wants to warn Jason about Russell and Newlin, seeing as Newlin wants Jason so darned badly. Bill doesn't want her to do it, because apparently being a Sanguinista means you also have to be a total dick. Hey, some of us are nice to animals even though we eat them. Can't these guys be nice to humans, too?

Jessica offers a solution: she'll turn Jason into a vampire. Bill sees through her crap and sends her off with a security detail to make sure she does it, which is kinda creepy. Nobody wants a gun held to their head while they procreate. Luckily, Jessica and Jason team up and trick the security guys, and Jason shoots them to goo.

Jessica gets dragged back to the Authority just in time to see Bill going totally nuts. When she suggests that maybe he's insane because he's part of a nest, he smacks her across the room. Notice what they're doing here: Bill's character is going to have to be redeemed so that we can like him again later, so his behavior is not being blamed on him. It's the nest! Yeah, sure. I will not forget this, Bill. I will not forget. But you can continue killing members of the Authority if you want.

Eric and Nora:

Nora finally comes to her senses after the whole Godric getting his head ripped off thing, and she and Eric fix everything with sex. Their strange incestual relationship is still weird to me, so throwing in an apology scene with unnecessary boning is tough to handle too.

Eric promises that he'll get them out of there, so he takes his first opportunity when a General Cavanaugh from the Pentagon shows up. He informs the vampires that he has video of Russell draining an entire sorority, and if anything happens to him, the video will be out and then humans will totally rise up and whatnot. Oh, and the Pentagon has anti-vampire weapons. I want to know what they are. Sunshine bombs? A stake that explodes and hundreds of tiny stakes fly out of it?

Cavanaugh ends up with his neck broken by Eric, who clearly has a plan brewing. He calmly explains that he'll fix things by going on a glamour campaign, and Nora plays along by noting that she knows who's in Cavanaugh's cabinet.

Bill makes his suspcious face and sends them off with a security detail, which consists of just two guys who drive the car. Thorough, Bill. Very thorough. Obviously Eric turns them into goo, and he and Nora are ready to bust some skulls. And then they fly!

Tara and Pam:

Tara and Pam get a visit from Jessica while she's in town, and once again she and Tara bond a little bit. Once again it's kinda cute. Hey, you know what's fun to watch on this show? People being nice to each other for a change.

But then Elijah's maker shows up, who also happens to be that lady from the Authority's council. Not only does she arrest Pam (who takes the fall for Tara) but she also drags Jessica back to the Authority as well, because Jessica is TERRIBLE AT HIDING.

Andy:

Holly's kids apologize to Andy, kinda. Great.

More importantly, Andy gets a visit from Mirella, whom Andy had sex with when he was at the faerie club. Apparently he accepted her light into him, which is a sacred bond and whatnot, and now Mirella wants Andy to keep her safe... and her unborn child, which is Andy's. Whoops.

When he refuses, she says that breaking the bond is an act of war. Please let next season be all about Andy vs. the faeries.

Alcide:

After some shirtless wood chopping, Alcide grumbles some more about his dad. Then he saves the neighbors from some baby vamps, and his dad actually gets up off his butt and helps out. Yes, that is the T-1000 with an awesome hunting bow.

Sam and Luna:

The shifters continue their mousy investigation of the Authority, and finally uncover Emma. Unfortunately, they're found by some Authority guards, who mistake them for the humans that are being held for food. Sam offers to be Bill's lunch, which considering Bill's state is probably not going to go well.

Jason/Sookie:

Besides his little side track with Jessica, Jason spends the episode trying to help Sookie find out about Warlow. Sookie goes to see the faerie elder, and I quickly become very disappointed in this show.

Here's the deal: they do this setup with saying how the Elder is on "many frequencies" and is hearing stuff on many planes at once, so she has trouble focusing. That is a terrific setup for a character, with great potential for comedy/some kinda sad stuff. But instead, "True Blood" opts here to have the Elder be a lady who dances weird and just makes pop culture references, both of which are pretty cheap ways of making her "crazy." Lame. Lame lame lame. Also, Ke$ha jokes? Everything that was said here has been said a million times before. This show is so late on the uptake. This is almost as bad as the iStake and the Facebook jokes.

Sookie is about to get some info out of her, but unfortunately that's when Jason shows up with news that Russell is out looking for her. Jason decides to go keep a lookout at Sookie's house and lead Russell to them, which he does thanks to some glamouring (which, by the way, Russell is very good at. None of that "look into my eyes" crap).

When he arrives the Elder tries to take him on by herself, and ends up getting drained. That was a poor choice, especially since it means that now Russell can see the faerie hideout. Uh oh.

Notes & Quotes:

- "That is... really fuckin' creepy"

- "That is why you slut your heart out to every cute guy with fangs." Oh, so there's a reason that Sookie sleeps with everyone?

- "You never know when some Iraqi ghost lady is going to curse your whole family"

- "Maybe later we can braid each others' hair and talk about boys"

- Hey, Russell knew Jesus Christ? And apparently he was a hippie and smelled like patchouli. Makes sense, I guess.