'Trophy Wife' Pilot Recap

A year ago, Kate was single. Today, she’s married with three step children, and wasted in the back of her husband’s ex-wife’s car.

Last year, the closest thing she had to a family was her best friend, Meg.

Flashback to Kate doing karaoke with Meg after yet another break-up. She accidentally falls and breaks a man’s nose.

They connect at the hospital, flirting, when suddenly his ex comes in with their children. The doctor comes out... another ex. She sets his nose. Surprisingly, despite all the chaos, Kate agrees to go out to coffee with him.

Kate attempts to make breakfast for her new family, but has to kill the smoke alarm. In an effort to connect with her stepdaughter Hillary, who is going to a concert, Kate tells her about a trip to Lollapalooza, when she was drunk off vodka they smuggled in water bottles. Hillary tells her not to try so hard, everyone just thinks of her as her dad’s third wife.

Warren’s teacher calls to talk to Peter, who is busy with a case, and Kate asks if she can go in and speak with her. She goes, but Diane, one of the ex’s and the mother of Warren, shows up as well.

Bert’s mom Jackie, one of the ex’s, drops off Bert with Meg for some babysitting, claiming to be super busy. Meg stops at a bar to pick up her paycheck and leaves Bert in the car.

The teacher reads a story that Warren has written... it’s rather graphic, and mentions a sexy ankle tattoo. Diane angrily notes that Kate has an ankle tattoo. The erotic story is about Kate! Diane tells Kate and the teacher to let her handle it.

Peter hears a noise upstairs, and finds Jackie has snuck in and is swapping out her dead hamster for their live one so she doesn't have to talk to Bert about it. They fight over the live hamster, and it accidentally gets smashed in the door.

Kate gets a call from Meg’s phone. It’s Bert and he tells her what’s happening. Meg comes back to the car but Bert keeps locking her out. He’s missed his chance to do a solo at school, and he insists she can walk.

Peter and Jackie go to buy new hamsters. She puts her dead hamster on the counter, and the store clerk kicks them out.

Kate sees Hillary and her friends giggling over a water bottle. Diane comes out of the school and Hillary quickly gives Kate the water bottle so she won't freak out. Warren, however, is thirsty. Diane insists Kate give him a drink, but Kate chugs it.

Back to Kate being drunk in the back of the car. Kate has told them she lost her car keys. Hillary gives her some mints.

Peter and Jackie can’t find any more hamsters. Peter tells her they have to be honest now and tell Bert the truth.

Everyone arrives all at once, and chaos ensues. Especially because Peter and Jackie are bribing Bert with a puppy.

One of Hillary’s friends comes in and Warren tries to talk to her. Kate gets suspicious, grabs her ankle and notices a tattoo. Kate demands an apology from Diane, but falls over. They realize she is drunk. Diane says she will sue for custody, and Hillary confesses that Kate was protecting her so Diane wouldn’t overreact.

Bert comes into the bedroom, looking for his hamster, and Peter can’t work up the nerve to tell him what happened. They go look for him.