Transgender Woman Fumes Over 'Cake Boss' Remarks

Never call another human an "it."

No jokes. No snark. That might be the most degrading thing anyone could say to an individual coping with something more difficult than most people could fathom.

Carmen Carrera - who competed in the 2010 season of "RuPaul's Drag Race" and is transitioning into a life as a woman since she finished taping - started out feeling fine about a prank that "Cake Boss" star Buddy Valastro played on Anthony "Cousin Anthony" Bellifemine during Monday night's episode. She dialed up the charm, made Cousin Anthony feel like the only man in the room, buttered him up to the point of asking for her number - just the way Valastro drew up the play. Then she dropped the bomb: she started life as a man.

Before the episode's airing, Carrera never saw the smirking aside from Valastro, boasting "Anthony right now is on top of the world. You don't know what's coming baby! I call him over because it's time to bring him back down to Chinatown. I tell him, 'That's a man, baby!'"

No. That is, by definition, a woman. The ugliness was just beginning.

Wow, to be Carrera right now. She was amenable to the appearance because she glimpsed opportunity in the humor. She ultimately felt blindsided and clearly more than a little bit betrayed not only by Valastro, but by TLC collectively.

(An aside: let's just all agree to never, ever again call that network by its full, proper name - "The Learning Channel." Let's just let some of the lying stop there.)

"I was told this was a family show and they weren't going to go that way with it," Carrera said Tuesday to The Daily Beast. "It felt bad. I was really upset because this ignorance is going to be spread to an audience that's not necessarily a gay audience."

Carrera took to her Facebook page, hoping that while Valastro and TLC might have won out making her look a cruel fool on the broadcast front, she could perhaps regain ground via social media. From her Wall, in its entirety:

"LET ME MAKE THIS VERY CLEAR! LISTEN UP PEOPLE! I signed on to do this episode of "Cake Boss" to promote EQUALITY. Transgender women are just as beautiful as biological woman and should be respected for that. The "reveal" was never meant to be a "Jerry Springer, 'THATS A MAN'..." kind of thing. I was promised that it wasn't going to be that way. I was lied to. I dont promote misleading someone or putting down the trans community. I am a beautiful transgendered woman and if a guy hits on me at a bar, ITS OK! That was the message. Hearing things like "You'll never be a real woman" or "I hope you burn in hell for changing your gender" or "You will always be a man" is the EXACT TYPE OF IGNORANCE THAT THIS SHOW HELPED TO PROMOTE. This is why Im so upset. If men find me attractive and treat me as lady, why do some of you people think its wrong??? Why are some of you trying to take that away from me like I dont deserve to be treated with respect and admiration? Ignorance, thats why. STOP THE HATE AND PASS THIS ON."

Via the "Cake Boss" online community and a statement issued by TLC, Valastro issued his own apology. "It was absolutely not my intention to upset or offend her, or anyone within the community, and I was wrong to use the words I did," he wrote. "I am a supporter of gay rights and equality, and while I regret this situation and my choice of words, I am thankful to have received this feedback and the opportunity to learn from this mistake. I hope that Carmen accepts my sincere regrets."

Though she did, it wasn't without reminding The Daily Beast that the episode didn't show Cousin Anthony being a good sport and even having a drink with Carrera and her husband later. What can't be ignored is Anthony's equally horrid tweet later.

"Dude you made out with a dude," some paragon of class tweeted him later.

"hahaha nah I didn't. It gave me a kiss on the cheek."

IT.

"So now I'm an 'it,'" Carrera said later. All I wanted was to be respected as a 'she.' This is the problem."

For his part, Anthony also apologized.

"Hi all, i appologize [sic] for my ignorance. @carmen_carrera is a beautiful woman & i respect her greatly. no harm intended. My apologies," he tweeted.

See, that's what makes words a mother sometimes: once they're out, they're out. Bullets can't be sucked back into a gun, especially not after they've already torn a wound.