This Song About a Murderous Shia LaBoeuf Is Amazing
by Andy NeuenschwanderShia LaBoeuf has been in the news a lot lately. He's been starting trouble at Broadway performances, doing weird art installations, and generally acting strangely...until he went on "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" and showed himself to be completely normal and charming.
But comedian Rob Cantor isn't buying it.
Cantor, who has already found Internet fame for his song that includes almost 30 celebrity impressions in it, has put together a new song—nay, a performance—warning of the dangers of "actual cannibal" Shia LaBoeuf.
The piece tells the bloody tale of you, the listener, wandering through the woods and being pursued by a knife-wielding LaBoeuf. As the story builds, so does the performance, until it's a full-on spectacle with dancers, aerialists, a children's choir, an orchestra, confetti, and the Gay Men's Choir of Los Angeles.
As you can imagine, it's pretty epic.
The moral of the story is this: If you find yourself alone in the woods at night, watch out for Shia LaBoeuf. Also, if you kill Shia LaBoeuf, make sure he's dead. Watch out for bear traps, too.
Check out the video below, and be sure to stay tuned to the end for a surprise appearance and a "Citizen Kane" reference.