Straight Up, Don't Tell Me: Simon Cowell Wants Paula Abdul to be a Judge on 'The X Factor'

And the next judge to get the "X Factor" gig according to Simon Cowell is....

Mariah Carey? Nope. P Diddy? Uh uh? Snoop Dogg? No Dice. Gloria Estefan? Nah, she just "turned up" at auditions in Miami.

Nope, Simon's big reveal is that the next judge on "The X Factor" is most likely....wait for it...Paula Abdul. Wah wah. Oh and British singer Cheryl Cole. Underwhelmed? You're not alone.

In an interview with Deadline Hollywood's Nikki Finke, Simon Cowell talked about his ideal hires for "The X Factor" (Abdul and Cole still need to sign contracts) and why it takes more than celebrity to make a great reality talent show judge.

"First of all, it's like casting a dinner party. You’ve got to have people on the panel you get on well with," Cowell told Deadline.

He said he was keen on working with Abdul again, primarily because of chemistry.

"I've always wanted Paula. Always been very vocal about that. I missed her the second she left the show. Always loved working with her even though she can be a pain. And I've been consistent about this. I don’t know what it is about her, but I've always clicked with her. You just have to get that chemistry, and she's right," said Cowell.

"I've never found anyone better than her. I think there's a good chance it will be her. We've agreed that we would meet as many people as possible, and now we're reaching the deadline we've got to make the decision soon. But I think she's got a really good shot," he said.

Assuming Abdul can come to terms with Cowell (which oughta be some fun contract discussions: "Pain? I'll show you pain!"), that means the final panel for the $5 million show will be producer L.A. Reid, Paula Abdul and....Cheryl Cole?

Cowell worked with Cole on the British version of "The X Factor," where she's been a big hit with Brits.

"I never think about it as an American or British audience. I genuinely don’t. I think that’s what's happened on a lot of these shows now is it's almost like you’ve got to hire well known celebrities to be a judge. And with Cheryl, when I hired her initially, I'd only met her literally once when I offered her the job on [British] X Factor. I thought she was bright, cute, knew what she was talking about, ambitious. And you meet someone special a few times in your life.. And this girl is special," said Cowell.

"She's just got a great ability to communicate. She's a great judge. She's smart. It's just a hunch. If people take to her like the British public did, I think she's going to do really well in America. And Fox was desperate to hire her," he said.

Of course, this could all be a big bunch of Cowell-cooked poppycock (again).

"It's still playing out," Cowell's PR flak told The Hollywood Reporter. "Nothing is set, and Paula is one of many people Simon is talking to. He's said the same thing many times, including on the radio last week. There's nothing new."

Anyone else feel like Simon Cowell's just screwing with the fans and media? What do you think of the Abdul/Cole/Reid lineup?

While you're waiting for Simon to make up his mind, catch the premiere of "The X Factor" competitor "The Voice" tomorrow night from 9-11 p.m. EST on NBC.