'The Simpsons' Season 24, Episode 13: 'Hardly Kirk-ing' Recap

‘The Simpsons’ - Season 24, Episode 13 - ‘Hardly Kirk-ing’

Homer sets Maggie down to watch an ‘educational’ DVD, but Marge isn’t too happy. She says that the DVDs can stunt the development of children, but Lisa and Bart point out that they were raised on those movies, and Lisa turned out fine.

Marge insists that they don’t watch TV anymore. After protests, she decreases it to no TV for 24 hours.

She decides to take Maggie, Homer, and Lisa to the bookstore and stock up on educational books.

Bart goes to Milhouse’s house to spend the time. They have an epoxy fight, and end up getting it stuck in Milhouse’s hair. They end up shaving his head, so he ends up looking exactly like his father, Kirk. Bart, wanting to take advantage of it, he dresses Milhouse in a suit and tie. When he tightens the tie, Milhouse’s voice changes to match that of his father’s.

Bart has Milhouse prank Skype call Homer and tell him that Bart is spending the night there, and for Homer to give Bart anything he asks for… and that Lisa has to go to prom with Milhouse in 10 years. They both laugh as Milhouse orders Homer to eat a gallon of ice cream in under 2 minutes.

In their garage, Bart fashions stilts for Milhouse so he’s the same height as his dad. Milhouse’s mom comes home and thinks he’s his father, so the guise is working perfectly.

Milhouse and Bart use their new freedom to rent a U-Rent moving truck, crash it, and rent another one, only the crash at the Kwik-E-Mart. They run into the bullies. They make Milhouse buy them beer, cigarettes, and porn.

Milhouse wants to do the ultimate adult thing, and decides to vote in a local election.

Bart and Milhouse visit Moe’s Tavern and order some milk, and ask Moe to tell them where babies come from.

Back at home, Lisa notices that Maggie is really missing TV, but Marge doesn’t want her to watch TV quite yet. Lisa suggests they go downtown and hit up the jazz club for some live music, but Marge says the US Embassy warns against visiting downtown Springfield. Disappointed, she says she knows of a puppet show they could go to. So they go.

When they get back, Bart tells Lisa he knows an adult who will take her to the jazz club. Enter Milhouse. Lisa says it doesn’t matter because they can’t afford the gas money or the cover fee to get in. Then Bart points out that the company responsible for making the educational DVDs they watched growing up were offering a settlement to any parents who bought them. Milhouse can pretend to be their dad and get the money.

Milhouse buys bus tickets downtown to visit the company and get their money. They are refunded a grand total of $19, which is only enough money to get bus tickets back. Lisa complains that she’s hungry, and they spot a free breakfast opportunity, they just have to sit through a timeshare sales pitch.

Marge and Homer learn that the kids are missing, and suspects they went downtown.

The kids try to get out of the sales pitch, but the saleswoman locks them in. Lisa tells Milhouse to reveal he’s a kid, but the saleswoman misinterprets it and hits on him instead.

Marge and Homer find them just in time, and Marge knows it’s Milhouse immediately. (His head has a 5-o’clock shadow). They reunite Milhouse with Kirk, and he apologizes for all the trouble he caused.

Homer tells Bart to promise he’ll never look like him.

“I sure hope not.”

“Why you little! That’s not a heartwarming thing to end on!”