'Ringer' Season 1, Episode 9 Recap -'Shut Up and Eat Your Bologna'

This week “Ringer” was about discovering the hidden truth. There are some truths, like love, better out in the open. Others, like kidnapped heiresses, are better left locked in the basement.

A lot was unveiled this episode so let’s unpack some of the major discoveries up front. Bridget realized she was falling for Andrew’s dapper ways while Andrew realized their new soft, cuddly love made him want to be a better person.

Olivia saw a picture of Siobhan and Henry in a totally platonic, non-sexual pose on his phone and somehow jumped to the right conclusion. But the most important revelations of the episode had to do with Gemma’s survival and the discovery of Charlie’s identity.

This was a giant episode with a lot of moving pieces that somehow still managed to be satisfying without feeling rushed. It helps that Bridget is much smarter and more competent with Malcolm in her corner. Even though he’s only six days out from shooting heroin into his eyeballs, he’s still much better at critical thinking than Bridget.

Malcolm immediately picks up that Charlie is a sketchy dude. Apparently, no addict would keep mouthwash in the house because of its alcohol content. And then there’s the fact that his creepy intensity and lack of personal belongings make him all the sketchier. As Malcolm rattles off this information, Bridget immediately begins to regret turning over her stolen handgun to Charlie in an effort to get rid of it. To be fair, it’s probably a good call not to give out stolen handguns to anyone.

Let’s talk about that stolen handgun for a second, shall we? In a flashback that makes me really miss Agent Machado and then by proxy “Lost”, we learn about Bridget’s daring escape from custody. Part of what I found so hard to believe in the pilot is that Bridget would run away with a security detail following her and promised witness protection to go on CGI boat rides. This scene retro-actively makes Bridget’s decision seem more reasonable.

Turns out one of her police guards told her to make a run for it to survive and then planted the gun. Except he wasn’t doing it out of the goodness of his heart. He was doing it on orders from Charlie and Siobhan, but for what purpose I’m still frankly a bit puzzled. What is Siobhan’s big plan here? More importantly, will it ever come together in a way that is both satisfying and sense-making?

Bridget is still looking for clues about who was after her sister. Remember that guy she shot and stuffed in Kate and Leo’s “Titanic” trunk? Those were good times! She’s still trying to figure out what that was all about.

She traces some medication back to Siobhan’s shrink, where she makes her Andrew-loving discovery. It’s nice that while everything else is getting so heightened, the show took a small breather to up the emotional stakes as well. On a shallow note, Sarah Michelle Gellar is looking great this episode. Out from under the thumb of blousy fake-baby hiding shirts, she is really killing it this week.

She also steals notes from Siobhan’s last session with her therapist and discovers that Siobhan was on depression meds for paranoia. Along with that, there’s the name of a church listed, which turns out to be a bar. And who might be at that bar but Charlie, the addicts anonymous sponsor, pounding down drinks. Bridget’s head explodes and then continues exploding when Malcolm finds out Charlie’s name is really John and he has a house in Brooklyn. He drinks in converted churches, wears a lot of leather jackets and lives in Brooklyn. Is Charlie’s secret that he’s a hipster?

Not quite, because in his basement he’s hiding one tied up and blindfolded Gemma Butler. I know I’ve previously been on the ‘kill Gemma off’ bandwagon, if only to up the stakes on the show. But even I will admit that the image of Gemma tied up in the basement was legitimately creepy and unsettling.

If I’ve learned one thing from “American Horror Story” besides what it looks like to see Dylan McDermott cry, it’s that nothing good ever happens in basements. Basements are the realm of monster pig-baby hybrids and being forced to eat bologna sandwiches. I’m not sure what’s scarier.

Malcolm nearly breaks into this basement of horrors as Bridget stalls Charlie at a restaurant, asking for the gun back. Bridget’s eyes are all twitchy and buggy, like the worst actress in the world on a cocaine bender. So it’s no surprise that Charlie puts a call into Siobhan at episode’s end to report that Bridget is onto him. That spells trouble for Bridget, Malcolm and poor Gemma.

Do you think Gemma will survive next week? What’s Siobhan’s plan anyway? And are you loving Bridget and Andrew? Sound off in the comments!