'Ringer' Season 1, Episode 20 Recap - 'If You're Just an Evil Bitch Then Get Over It'

Things are getting intensely crazy on this week’s episode of “Ringer”. This is mostly thanks to Catherine, who reveals herself to be progressively more unhinged as the episode goes on.

 Last week we learned that Catherine was behind the hit on Siobhan that introduced us all to Trunky, the assassin Bridget killed and shoved into a trunk and my personal favorite “Ringer” character. This week Catherine decides to pick up where Trunky left off and just finish the job herself. God Bridget, never take tea from people with eyes that crazy. That is such an amateur move.

The episode starts with Catherine talking crazy in Juliet’s room, only for Andrew to discover that Catherine had slit her wrists. She leaves a perfect blood handprint on his shirt, which is ascetically impressive. For a second after Andrew gets off the phone with Bridget, he appears to find his serial killer shadow and the music goes crazy and I was sure that the twist would be that he was secretly in league with Catherine. I’m constantly impressed by Ioan Gruffudd’s ability to go from looking cuddly to looking like he’s planning how to dismember someone in five seconds flat.

Juliet is suitably freaked out over her mother’s suicide attempt, one minute thinking Catherine is faking and the next moment being struck by overwhelming concern. There are some weird heart to heart moments where Catherine basically admits to being a horrible mother/person and Juliet seems oddly touched by this but then calls her suicidal mother an evil bitch. The Martins are just like the “Brady Bunch” only more homicidal and on more drugs!

While all this is happening Henry and Siobhan are busy being really, really stupid. I thought Siobhan was the smart twin (smart being very relative on “Ringer”) but it appears whatever disease has eaten Henry’s brain has finally gotten her too. Her magic fix to the Tyler situation was to bribe the maid at the hotel in the least suave way possible. She basically just rolled into the hotel a million months pregnant wearing her pregnancy invisibility cloak and shoved some money at the maid. Great job!

Henry, meanwhile, has miraculously remembered he has children. But alas, for it is too late! Gemma’s father has taken them and he is none too happy with Henry due to all the cheating and murdering and such. I mean, those are pretty good reasons to be an unfit parent but the way Henry has been acting I’m surprised he even noticed his kids were gone. I guess he walked into his apartment and was like “where is that giggling children background noise I’d grown so accustomed too?  I feel like something is missing!” At this point I was surprised his kids were actually real and not all in his head in some kind of weird “Black Swan” twist.

Henry finally decides that losing his kids is the last straw for his relationship with Siobhan. How will he ignore them if he doesn’t have custody?! I predict next week Siobhan will say something insane to him like “Hey let’s hold up a liquor store and then sell crack to kittens” and he will think this is a great idea and go along with it.

I haven’t even gotten to the most important part of the episode though: the triumphant return of Trunky! We missed you Trunky! I hope next season Trunky is the star and “Ringer” just becomes an extended “Weekend at Bernie’s” riff.

Agent Pretty Eyes discovers the remarkably well preserved remains of Trunky in a mobster’s basement while looking for clues that tie him to Andrew’s shooter. I get that Trunky is the best “Ringer” character of all time, but doesn’t it seem a little absurd for a mobster to keep a dead body conveniently stowed in a refrigerator for like nine months? When Trunky ended up in that Titanic trunk Siobhan was barely pregnant and now she looks like she’s going to explode homicidal twins at any moment. Shouldn’t the mobster have gotten rid of Trunky by now?

Also I feel I should note that said mobster is actually Mike from AMC’s fantastic, award winning “Breaking Bad” and is clearly slumming it for a paycheck by appearing on the CW. Mike should have just run his underground operation through a car wash instead of a dry cleaner and this could have all been avoided!

Machado finds the picture of Siobhan and Andrew that once belonged to Trunky and tells Bridget he’ll have a friend run it for prints. Unfortunately Catherine hears this as well and starts plotting nefarious things. While Catherine is foisting poised OD tea on Bridget, Agent Machado’s 1990 AOL internet connection slowly loads Catherine’s picture from the prints. Poor Machado, first his stripper girlfriend is killed, then he loses his badge and now we find out he doesn’t even have Wi-Fi? Can’t this poor guy catch a break?

As the episode ends Machado heads out to save the day again while Catherine cackles evilly over Bridget’s nearly dead body. Next week Bridget drowns and OD’s at the same time, but unless she’s shot in the head ten times I won’t believe she’s really dead. This is “Ringer” after all.

What did you think of this week’s episode of “Ringer”? Were you surprised by how evil Catherine really was? Were you mad the twins still didn’t meet? Sound off in the comments!