'Ringer' Season 1, Episode 2 Recap - 'She's Ruining Everything'

The second episode of “Ringer” attempts to answer some questions left dangling from last week’s premiere.

Namely, if you were on the run and had a perfect new identity dropped into your lap that also happened to be filthy rich, why wouldn’t you take the money and run? For Bridget the answer lies in her rocky past as an addict.

As a viewer, it still doesn’t quite add up. At episode’s end she leaves a message for her former sponsor beau Malcolm saying that Siobhan is needed.

While the glimpses of backstory we get are compelling and certainly the first real emotional connection to either sister, it doesn’t seem enough to explain the logic gap of staying in a life you don’t understand, waiting around to get caught. It only left me wondering if all those years of wearing heavy bad girl eyeliner, drinking and drugs killed off one too many of Bridget’s brain cells.

The episode itself manages to be a bit melodramatic while also being entertainingly farcical. Bridget’s complete inability to deal with the dead body she has suddenly found herself in possession of, after defending herself from a hired killer in the last episode, is actually pretty amusing. Let’s just say “Dexter” Bridget is not. She hauls the body around the entire episode, trying to figure out ways to dispose of it with no luck. At one point she packs bleach and considers sawing it in half while wearing a pristine white shirt, which I believe I read somewhere was a murdering rookie mistake. Probably Martha Stewart Living.

Unfortunately, the only solution Bridget didn’t think of was the simplest: “Weekend at Bernie’s” that nonsense. Everyone knows that if you slap some shades on a corpse, everyone thinks it’s just a creepy old guy out for a good time.

Bridget, however, thinks the best way to hide a body is to cleverly disguise it by covering it with a tarp and leaving it in the middle of the room. They’ll never find it that way! Fortunately, her gay bacon-enthusiast designer has picked a Titanic theme for her husband’s business party, now held in the loft for plot-twist purposes, complete with old-timey trunks. And because everyone knows that 90% of antique trunks contain dead bodies (that is just a science fact) this is exactly where this episode’s Bernie ends up. This leads to more hilarity with oozing blood and ringing cell phones; it also leads to the reveal at episode’s end that Bernie is gone.

Meanwhile, Malcolm is the sole voice of reason on this show and tells Bridget to bounce from this crazy house of cards before it all falls on her head. Seeing the wisdom, Bridget gets into Siobhan’s accounts and withdraws a ton of money, intending to head for the hills. She’s dogged by Agent Richard Alpert and his beautifully mascaraed eyes are filled with suspicion. When he tracks her to the party and starts getting weird about the history of her building she finally has enough and throws him out. But clearly he and his guyliner are still on the case, which is another reason Bridget should probably listen to Malcom and get while the getting is good.

Another reason is Siobhan’s mentally unstable friend Gemma and her lover (and Gemma’s husband) Henry. Gemma  is the only one who realizes she’s in a soap opera and dresses accordingly in a chest-popping leopard print number that looks like it would be right at home on one of the ”Real Housewives of New Jersey."

She also gets in a pretty magnificent slap to Henry’s jerkface, which Bravo's Andy Cohen would certainly approve of. Gemma has competition in the weirdly dressed category by Bridget herself, who felt the need to pull out her obvious pony-fall which looked like it was made entirely from cheap Paris Hilton extensions. Still, it’s impossible to make Sarah Michelle Gellar look bad and she somehow still manages to rock this look so hard it’s almost kind of great.

Also kind of great is Siobhan sauntering around Paris in a giant hat and sunglasses like a member of the royal family out for a day trip. She’s unnerved to find all her money gone and immediately gets on the phone to her sketchy contacts to up the timeline on whatever dastardly deed she has planned. Bridget, according to Siobhan, is ruining everything.

For Siobhan’s family, however, Bridget might be just what the doctor ordered. Her husband Andrew is so happy Siobhan is being supportive that he seems to be blowing off his scheming British lady partner. Meanwhile Bridget’s substance abuse background means that she can truly sympathize with stepdaughter Juliet in a heartfelt way. Seeing how much she’s needed, Bridget decides to put off the tropical vacation in not-about-to-be-murdered-ville to stay put on the Upper East Side.

What is Siobhan’s plan? Who is trying to kill her? Who disposed of the body? And what did you think of the episode? Sound off in the comments!