'Ringer' Season 1, Episode 14 Recap 'Whores Don't Make That Much'

Another “Ringer” episode, another shocking final moment. If there’s one thing that “Ringer” has gotten good at over its half season on our small screens, it’s pulling out the “OMG” twist ending. Last week we found out that Juliet, Tessa and Mr. Carpenter had “Wild Things”’d their way to millions. This week we find out that the whole plan was crafted by none other than the first Mrs. Martin. Bravo “Ringer”! Once again, I didn’t see that twist coming.

What I did see coming was the long, overly-involved backstory of the death of Siobhan’s son Sean. From pretty much the pilot I called that Bridget had had some hand in the death of Siobhan’s son. I must say, in the grand scheme of things it’s a little underwhelming how small Bridget’s role in Sean’s death actually was. I get that the writers are trying to keep Bridget likable, but the flip-side is that Siobhan’s insane vendetta loses some of its juice.

 I understand why she would be angry at Bridget for allowing her son to go out with his father even against her express orders. But that accident was in no way the fault of anyone in the car. It seems a big leap from being angry over something terrible that you can’t change to switching identities in an elaborate play to kill your sister. Having Bridget really screw up and giving Siobhan a more legitimate reason to hate her would have gone a long way towards humanizing both sisters. Especially Siobhan, who is still in the mustache twirling super villain stage she’s been in since the pilot.

Elsewhere, Tessa uses all her dolla dolla bills to buy herself a really nice car. When Juliet points out to her how stupid this is Tessa refuses to listen. So Juliet calls up Mr. Carpenter, who read up on “How To Be Conspicuously Inconspicuous for Dummies” before popping on his sketchy sunglasses and baseball cap. I guess he wasn’t recognizable as Mr. Carpenter, but he certainly looked like a unibomber instead. Not exactly a look you want to be sporting in the “see something, say something” capital of the world while hanging out with an underage girl. When she tells him about Tessa he promises to take care of it. The next day she goes into school and finds out that Tessa has been beaten into a medically induced coma and all her “Wild Things” money stolen from her under-the-bed bank. Ruh-roh!

Juliet confronts Mr. Carpenter, who acts like this is the first he’s hearing of it. Did Mr. Carpenter really do it? Who knows! Probably not, because nothing is really like it first appears on “Ringer”. Perhaps it was Siobhan who did it, since she is behind about 95% of the evil happenings in Manhattan. The other 5% is the other crazy, blonde Mrs. Martin—Andrew’s ex-wife. She asks Andrew to consider sending Juliet to live with her in Miami and Andrew and Siobhan struggle with the decision. Why is Juliet’s booze-soaked mother taking a sudden interest in her wellbeing? Well, because she’s the one behind the “Wild Things” plot to begin with and knows her bratty daughter is now sitting on millions. Mother of the year award nominee right here.

Other important things we learned this episode of “Ringer”:

-  Siobhan’s ex-husband is Misha Collins from sister CW show “Supernatural”. He is very pretty.

-  Bridget wants to start living her life honestly, instead of pretending to be Siobhan. Even Malcolm is like “Come on dude.” Just when I start to give Bridget some points for intelligence, she forces me to take them all away.

-  Malcolm noticed Henry had that sailboat key-ring when Henry stopped by Andrew’s company to withdraw his money. Meanwhile Siobhan has Henry on Malcolm while Malcolm is onto Henry. It’s like Spy vs. Spy, if both spies were incompetent.

-  Both Siobhan and Henry text message each other in all caps. THAT’S WHY THEY ARE MEANT TO BE! Everything with them is so dramatic.

What did you think of this week’s episode of “Ringer”? Did you enjoy the flashbacks? Think Mr. Carpenter really did it? Did the end shock you? Sound off in the comments!