'New Girl' Season 5, Episode 5: 'Bob & Carol and Nick & Schmidt' Recap

Nick's cousins Bobby and Carol are coming to town. He hides his things in the loft to look as poor as possible, knowing they will ask him for money. He may be Nick, but he's still the most responsible Miller in the family. Schmit encourages him to just set some boundaries.

Because Jess is still gone, CeCe takes Winston wedding dress shopping with her, unable to reschedule her appointment. He's originally supposed to just be her ride, but he's overly excited for this, and when he stands up to the pushy sales girl, CeCe decides he can stay, and the two chug champagne.

Bobby and Carol arrive and start buttering Nick up, and he's quick to establish that he won't give them any money. And that's fine... they don't need money, they need his sperm. They're trying to start a family and Bobby's shooting blanks. Nick is fine with this idea, but Schmidt pulls him aside and tries to veto. He wants Nick to stick to "the plan," a life outline he's drawn up in secret for Nick. Nick reminds him there are boundaries between the two of them as well, and offers his sperm to Bobby and Carol.

Despite protests on all sides, Schmidt insists on accompanying Nick to the sperm bank. However Schmidt has gotten into Nick's head and he asks him about "the plan." Schmidt explains Nick is supposed to marry a small Italian woman and have kids with her. Nick, however, doesn't see that happening any time soon. This may be his only chance to have a kid, in whatever sense it may be.

CeCe has bought her perfect dress! However, when she tries it on again sober, she and Winston realize it's a disaster.

There's a problem with the baby plan - Bobby and Carol realize they can't afford the procedure. Bobby asks Nick to just have sex with Carol and knock her up the old-fashioned way. He tries but the pressure is too much and he panics, unable.

CeCe tries to return the dress, but as she and Winston pissed off the sales girl, it's a no-go. Winston appears to try to salvage it, but again, they are denied. However CeCe realizes how much Winston cares about her, and asks if he'll also be one of her bridesmaids in addition to Schmidt's groomsman. He's thrilled.

Schmidt and Nick go over Nick's future plan. He's decided to have a baby of his own someday, with his future Italian wife.

They all track down where Jess is staying and stand outside her hotel room. CeCe reveals the dress, and Jess holds up cards  to the window saying it's horrible, but she can fix it.