'New Girl' Season 3, Episode 4: 'The Captain' Recap

Nick and Jess finish having more great sex. Jess wonders if they should have a real talk, but Nick just wants to eat a banana.

Schmidt wonders what is taking them so long. Winston informs him, as he cuddles with Ferguson, that it's a whole new ball game in their place. Schmidt declares he's going to be the one to stop it.

Jess and Nick continue to be annoyingly into each other. Jess apologizes to WInston, but he blames it on Ferguson. The cat has to be neutered. He's never had actual cat lovemaking.

Nick declares they have to get Ferguson laid. Winston seems to miss the joke.

Schmidt comes in with a sheet cake to celebrate Jess and Nick's one-month anniversary. They contemplate his motives. Nick confronts him, and Schmidt says it's a big month for him! How many of his relationships have lasted more than a month? Schmidt notes that by now, Nick is usually overthinking and panicking.

Later, as Jess and Nick kiss, he begins to get nervous. He can't get it up for sex. Jess tries multiple ways of reversing the issue. She fails.

Winston brings Ferguson to the pet store to troll for lady cats. He runs into a f(human) female who is clearly interested (in Winston). She's a bit confused about the situation but agrees to a cat date.

Jess wants to talk to Nick about his problem, but he refuses, and runs off. Schmidt comes out and oils up on her. He says he can help her, and he knows it will take a while to get her trust back... she gives in and wants to know what advice he has.

He suggests that Nick likes very dark stuff. Like the Captain. He explains to her what that means while making a smoothie.

Determined, Jess goes and performs The Captain, which scares the crap out of Nick.

Ferguson's cat date appears, still not quite understanding.

Jess insists they talk about what happened. Nick is horrified. He can't produce words. She asks him what she did wrong, and how does it normally go? He tells her he's never done that in his life. She admits Schmidt told her it was his favorite. They fight, and Jess runs out to yell at Schmidt.

Schmidt wants them all to go back to just being roommates. He asks Nick what he thinks, but Nick is struck. He finally admits he has feelings. He tells Jess he hated The Captain, but he likes her a lot. He spills a bunch of these new feelings, and also admits that he's not scared of what he feels for her.

Realizing he has failed, Schmidt follows them into the bedroom and forces himself in-between them.

Winston is listening to all the shouting and confusion, and it ruins the mood for both him and Ferguson.

Schmidt is busy cutting up all of Nick's condoms. He runs out and starts popping out Jess' birth control pills, and eats them. Winston comes in, angry because his cat has been cockblocked, and the female owner finally realizes what is going on. Winston calls a loft meeting. He calls them out on all their issues.

Jess tells Schmidt he did a bad thing and he needs to deal with it. Schmidt goes to CeCe's and leaves a note... she comes home after a date, and uses it to wrap her gum.

Nick shows Jess his surprise... he has sound-proofed (sort of) the room with egg cartons. Jess tells him the last month has been the best month of her life. Nick says that she has lifted the fog around his life. He can't seem to stop confessing his feelings, however.