'New Girl' Season 2, Episode 8: 'Parents' Recap

Jess goes into the living room and takes away Schmidt’s granola, reminding everyone that they are having two dinners. One with her mother, one later with her father. She warns them that her mom is perky, and her dad has a dark side.

“Nick you’re going to love my dad so much, he’s so unhappy.”

Jess’ mom comes in, wearing a pilgrim hat. She hugs everyone in a big hug ball. Jess’ dad Bob comes early, interrupting them.

“You know what I’m thankful for today? Divorce.”

Jess’ mom Joan talks him into staying, and CeCe applauds Jess’ “Parent Trap” type maneuver, which Jess denies.

Outside, Schmidt arranges crappy beer in a cooler for his cousin, who is coming. His cousin, who also likes to be called Schmidt, arrives, and explains that he and his wife have separated.

As Joan and Bob argue while cooking, Jess drops the fact that Bob’s second wife cheated. Joan feels bad, and they seem to reach a truce. Jess puts on a familiar song and the two reminisce.

Jess gets CeCe and Nick in on her Parent Trap plan. Step one, make Mom hot. Nick needs to distract Dad.

CeCe comes out, amazing Cousin Schmidt with her sexiness. Winston urges the two to have a contest. The manliest of the two will be declared the One True Schmidt.

Nick and Jess’ Dad bond on the couch, realizing how strangely alike they are. Until Nick tells him about his idea for a novel, which is strangely like Twilight.

Meanwhile Jess has told her mother that CeCe wants to be a makeup artist, and she and Jess work on her mom, Joan.

Jess encourages Nick to “go lay some sweet game” on Joan to make her dad jealous.

Schmidt and his cousin take off their shirts and do the wheelbarrow, while Winston laughs at how well his plan is going.

Nick flirts with Joan, basting the turkey together. Jess’ dad doesn’t seem that interested. He catches on the Jess is doing the Parent Trap. Jess tries to call it off with Nick, but Nick is having a delightful time flirting with Joan. He admits that he’s into her. Jess wrestles the baster away from him.

Joan takes Bob to the bathroom to clean the excess turkey grease off his shirt. He admits he was a little jealous. They kiss. Jess walks in, and walks out. CeCe and Nick check on them, and then Jess again, as they make out against the wall.

Winston tells Schmidt he thinks it’s a draw. Schmidt tells his cousin he is the new definition of manhood—exfoliation. The ability to julienne a pepper, etc. Cousin Schmidt does a classic julienne. They change the contest to “plating.” CeCe tells them that the true sign of masculinity is being comfortable in it. She encourages them to kiss Winston to prove they’re comfortable with their manhood.

Jess tells her parents to stay, she will sleep on the couch. Schmidt slips Winston a mint. Jess toasts, saying that she is thankful for her family. Her parents tell her they’re not getting back together, and everyone argues. Jess tells them she just wants to be a family.

Joan reminds her that she has family. But she and Bob are not getting back together. Jess tears up and leaves, taking the turkey and dumping it into the sink and going to her room.

Joan comes in to comfort her. She tells her that one day she and Jess will be old and live in a condo together. Jess has family—but Joan and Bob are just happier apart.

“I can’t wait to eat cat food with you.”

Schmidt goes to kiss Winston, but can’t quite manage it. Cousin Schmidt takes his turn. He can’t do it either… but when Schmidt tells him to call it off, he mouth kisses Winston. His victory is short-lived. He misses his wife.

Jess’ parents leave. They get into the elevator, and make out some more.