'New Girl' Season 2, Episode 7: 'Menzies' Recap

Schmidt is collecting money for the bills, but Jess can’t pay. The boys tell her to get a job, to update her resume, and Schmidt threatens to shut off the gas until she pays. She loses it on them, blaming PMS.

“I feel like I’ve laid a million eggs and they’re all hatching!”

Nick tells her he doesn’t think it’s fair that women think have an excuse to act irrationally angry. She screams at him about his own anger issues.

Nick takes an angry walk, and an old man comes to sit next to him on the bench. Nick asks him to leave but he won’t. Nick unloads, deciding he likes his face. After a long one-sided chat to the man who doesn’t speak English, he realizes he has anger issues and needs to solve them.

At dinner, Schmidt tells Robby and CeCe about the crazy woman from his office who hits on him and bites his ear in the break room. They tell him he needs a nice girl, and Robby talks about how nice CeCe is… surprising both Schmidt and CeCe.

Schmit shuts off the gas, refusing to pay Jess’ part. Winston comes and wants to share something… he thinks he’s getting his period. He looked it up online—sympathy PMS.

“Winston, men can’t get their period. Where would they put the tampon?”

Jess comes out, furious that there is no hot water. Nick comes in to tell them he is no longer angry. Nothing will get to him. Winston tells Nick he has sympathy PMS and Jess gets pissed that he’s always stealing her stuff.

“It’s not enough that I have to go to an interview with the red devil in my belly, I also have to go un-showered.”

Jess tears into everyone, and Nick loses his cool and heads off to the store.

At the office, Schmidt goes in to see the hot lady. He has to sign a sexual contract.

“Guaranteed mercury poisoning? Is this real?”

He takes it home to look it over and makes his decision.

Nick goes to see his friend at the bench who just stares at him as he sounds off about his roommates. He asks him to show him the way to become him, and the old man leads him off.

Jess heads to her interview. The interviewer shows her a picture of her dog, and Jess begins to cry about the tiny Yorkie in a cup. When she finds out the dog died, she loses it.

CeCe goes to see Schmidt, annoyed that Robby thinks she is nice. She feels like Robby doesn’t even know her. She is worried he will run when she realizes that he has been wrong about her. Maybe she’s not meant for a functional relationship. CeCe says she’s bad. Schmidt thinks she’s the worst. They kiss, but she says she can’t do it to Robby. She has a qualm.

“We sold our qualms, and we used to profits to buy perfect bodies.”

“I will never stop wanting to kiss you,” Schmidt says. CeCe says she really needed that situation, and leaves. Schmidt signs the contract.

The old man, who Nick has decided is named Tram, takes Nick to a small pool and begins to undress. He cradles him like a baby in the water.

“This is not how guys in my generation hang out,” Nick says with concern as a woman plays the flute soothingly behind them. But, soon, Nick has relaxed into it.

“You are a huge baby,” Tram says, his first words.

Winston and Jess are on the couch, with candy, hot water bottles, and gel eye masks. Winston leaves when Nick comes in, saying he feels too fragile. Nick tells Jess his anger is gone.

“You want me to get you a sanitary napkin?”

He wants to hear about her day, get into her universe. She tells him she bombed on her interview, sabotaged by her baby box… and now she will never trust anything that comes out of it, so there goes a future family.

Nick takes her to the pool, cradling her like a baby and awkwardly rolling her about in the water in a very uncomfortable way. Nick tells her she got knocked down and it’s time to get back up. He believes in her.

Jess goes to the interview again.

Nick goes to see the VP office lady with the signed contract. She ties him up inexpertly and orders him to take off his pants.

At home he has Nick and Jess drum roll to celebrate Jess’ re-employment teaching creative writing to adults.

“Well I hope you like stories about vampires and bad childhoods.”

Schmidt turns back on the hot water and everyone celebrates. They jump into Winston’s room, where he is laying in bed. He admits he doesn’t really have PMS, he misses Shelby.

Nick takes Winston to the pool and tries to cradle him in the water while everyone laughs.