'New Girl' Season 2, Episode 3: 'Fluffer' Recap

At the loft, Jess is struggling with what to do with her booty call, Sam. She confesses to Nick that she left him in the room with crayons and paper and told him she was going to check her fantasy football.

Later, she explains to the boys that the previous night was horrible, and that she and Sam lay there like the old people in “The Notebook” waiting to die. Schmidt wants to take her out on the town, and teach her how it is done, but Nick encourages her to date a guy she actually likes. Schmidt makes fun of Nick’s zombie novel which seems to be taking up all of his time, and keeping him from the important things: like friends helping friends have meaningless sex.

On their night out, Schmidt ditches everyone because he has heard that Kanye will be at a club. Nick, waiting at the restaurant, goes to leave, but Jess shows up lookin’ foine in a tight red dress. Nick confesses, “I forgot what you look like when you’re not dressed up like the loft troll.”

Jess laughs it off and insists they stay. “Loft troll not used to fancy gentlemen!”

And, bonus, she has brought white wine in a thermos, since the prices are a little beyond their scope. The waitress, however, points out that as they get drunker, they are less smooth about concealing the thermos. Sam texts Jess, ruining their drunken cuteness.

Winston, hanging with Schmidt, is eyeing all the pretty ladies in line at the club. Winston and Shelby, it turns out, are in 3 week no-sex rut. Therefore he is mind cheating on Shelby… all the time. To get into the club and make it work, Schmidt tells the bouncer that he is Mitt Romney’s son… Tugg Romney. They get in… somehow… and it turns out Cece is there. As Schmidt is talking to her, ladies show up, having heard he is a Romney, and Cece wanders off in disgust.

The next day, Jess confesses that her dresser was ruined during intercourse, and invites Nick to go to Ikea with her. He is eager. When she leaves, Winston accuses him of being Jess’ emotional “fluffer,” which is like the boyfriend only lacking in the fun sexy parts. No rewards.

Annoyed at this idea, Nick confronts her, telling her he won’t be that guy, and “bleh”-ing the idea of sleeping with her, although during their argument, they both admit to having “those” thoughts. Jess even admits she has thought about it, just once, when she was watching Nick do stupid jokes with the complimentary nuts at his bar.

But it would never ever work between them! Because Nick drives her crazy, always sighing like he’s the president deciding if they’re going to war, and Jess sings about everything.

Jess decides she will go on a date with Sam. “Are you happy now? Now I have to get to know the guy I’m sleeping with!”

So Jess goes on a date with Sam. They get food, as Jess tries carefully to explain her actions. Sam asks if she wants them to hang out more, but she says no, she will fall in love. She asks about his intentions if he ever built a dresser for a woman, which he misconstrues. “I can’t pleasure a woman and build a dresser at the same time…”

At home, recovering from their fight, Nick is beating head on the couch—in his
“dark place.” He explains to Winston that he told her didn’t want to be her fluffer, but now he feels terrible. Winston says it’s because they didn’t set boundaries.

“Never Adele!”

Winston and Nick have a slap match, because, why not? Winston warns Nick not to build her that dresser—it implies one day he will share it with her, but as Nick walks past Jess’ room, that Ikea box taunts him.

In Schmidt World, despite his flirting, the girls have figured out that he is not a Romney.

“Nit picking turns me off. You’re all horribly unattractive to me.”

He texts Cece to come over. Confused, he explains how his dad left and had more kids, and his mom is a (um?) lesbian. Cece tells him to forgive his dad for not being a presidential candidate with great hair. She puts his head on her boobs, and tells him to call his father.

Winston confesses to Shelby about cheating in his mind, which she doesn’t mind. Heck, she just wants to go in and watch “SVU.”

Jess has a talk with Nick to stop him from fluffing her. She can’t handle this emotional porn, these high-stake legos. They admit they are friends who are sometimes attracted to each other. Jess admits there’s nothing going on between her and Sam besides the physical, and Nick gives her his “sexy” mix. She utilizes it next time that she and Sam are fooling around.

 “When we’re done… I want you to immediately turn this off.”