'New Girl' Season 2, Episode 22: 'Bachelorette Party' Recap

Nick comes in wearing a horrible track suit that his mother sent him. It was his father’s.

“You look like a homeless pencil.”

Nick claims the Dead Father card, which he practices by “tap” dancing. When Jess tells him it isn’t tap, he reminds her his dad died, and she apologizes.

Winston comes in with the invites for CeCe’s wedding—which is in three weeks. Schmidt is annoyed he didn’t get a plus one invite. He goes off to demand it while Nick puts his feet in the sink.

She tells Winston and Nick she isn’t technically the Maid of Honor, but she’ll be having the bachelorette party there that night so they need to vacate. She explains that while some girls planned their wedding, CeCe planned her bachelorette party. She asks the boys to kidnap Shivrang so she can have CeCe to herself.

CeCe is a little lackluster that Shivrang’s aunt and grandmother have come all the way from India to help with the wedding. He whispers to her that at least, after it is over, they can finally make love. Schmidt busts in and argues that he needs a plus one. CeCe tells him he cannot have a plus one because of the budget of the wedding. She tells him it is only serious partners and spouses, which isn't his thing, and he declares he will get a serious girlfriend by the wedding.

Jess and Sadie welcome CeCe’s friends to the party as very pregnant Sadie gets “weird” about the models until Jess threatens to call her wife. CeCe texts from the car that she’s  coming up, but Shivrang’s aunt wants to come as well and meet her friends. As they go upstairs, Winston and Nick jump into his car to “kidnap” him.

The girls meet CeCe at the door to play “Pin the Dong on Shivrang,” but they get quiet when the aunt appears behind her. She goes to wash her hands and Sadie and Jess whisper at her to pin the dong. CeCe bursts out that she hasn’t seen his penis yet.

The girls try to make her feel better and she warns them not to let the aunt hear them talking about it.

The boys take Shivrang to the bar, but Winston is taking “kidnapping” too literally and being a little scary. Jess calls and asks Nick to get a picture of Shivrang’s penis. She tells him he can come home if he does and he agrees. They tell Shivrang it is his bachelor party.

The aunt is back, and Jess tries to keep the conversation light, but the other girls are bored and put on the slideshow of CeCe being wild.

Schmidt’s attempt to find a girlfriend is failing. The girls he slept with and then ignored don’t seem to be interested in suddenly jumping into a serious relationship with him. He tells them maybe he’s not a serious relationship person… They remind him about Elizabeth, who he dated for years during his “big” period. He goes off as Shivrang comes back.

Nick tells him they are going to play a classic American bachelor party game where they take a picture of their junk. Shivrang doesn’t bite and goes off to get another drink.

The slideshow is not showing a good side of CeCe, and the aunt confronts her about it. CeCe yells that the party wasn’t her idea and it isn’t her.

Jess pulls her aside and tells CeCe that she is changing who she is, and maybe she shouldn’t marry Shivrang this quickly. They begin yelling at each other, CeCe saying she won’t take advice from the girl involved in a seventh grade debacle with the boy across the hall. The male stripper comes in and they send him away.

Shivrang is having fun but goes to the bathroom. Winston and Nick rush in screaming “fire,” and Winston lights an actual fire in the trash. Shivrang asks what is going on, and Nick plays the dead dad card to get a photo of his penis. They finally end up explaining they need the photo for CeCe; they tell him she is freaking out. He goes to talk to her.

Winston takes matters into his own hands. He sends the picture of Nick’s junk to Jess. As everyone is giggling over it, the aunt comes and demands it. She suddenly understands that CeCe is frightened and explains that where she comes from women cry for days over that.

Schmidt goes to see Elizabeth. He tells her he wants to take her to a wedding. She tells him she can’t take him seriously in such tight pants, so he tells her the truth. She tries to shut the door in his face. She tells him that he was the best boyfriend ever when he was Big Guy… but when he lost weight, he got mean and stopped listening to her. And paying for her dinner.

The aunt entertains with stories of her wedding night as the boys burst in, Nick concerned over the photo.

“Prize hog, Shivrang,” Jess tells him. He tells her it is actually Nick’s and she tries to look at it again as he grabs for it.

Shivrang tells CeCe he will show her, but she stops him. She tells him sometimes she feels that they are jumping in blindly—but maybe that’s what is so exciting. He tells her that she pronounces his name wrong, but he will do his best to make her the happiest woman on earth.

After the party, Schmidt tells CeCe if he was selfish in their relationship, he apologizes. He tells her he doesn’t need a plus one and he is happy for her, and goes. Jess also apologizes, but CeCe asks Jess if she will be her Maid of Honor.

Schmidt brings Elizabeth pizzas he paid for, and tells her the Big Guy is still somewhere in his perfect body and needs her to help coax him out. She tells him to eat all the pizza.

“Welcome home, melted cheese! It’s like waking up from a bad salad dream.”