'New Girl' Season 2, Episode 17: 'Parking Spot' Recap

'New Girl' - Season 2, Episode 17: 'Parking Spot'

Jess and Nick brush their teeth beside one another. They praise each other for how things aren’t weird. Jess thinks they should reward themselves.

Schmidt comes in, freaking out. He found their parking spot. The roommates all go to stare at it and argue over who should get it.

They go inside to discuss who should get the parking spot. Winston gets a distracting text from Daisy—their sex window is small, apparently.

Schmidt hates himself for even telling them about the spot. Jess reminds them that every morning she deals with Dave, a bum who sleeps on her car. Winston has to leave to have sex, taking him out of the running. Schmidt and Jess stare down Nick until he pulls out.

This, unfortunately, makes him the Decider.

Jess comes to his room, wearing just his hoodie… and an invisible shirt underneath. She tries to seduce him to get the spot—and he gives her the spot immediately. He goes in for a hug and she gives him the purple nurples.

“I don’t know why I did that.”

Winston shows up a few minutes late, but he and Daisy strip. Unfortunately, he forgot a condom. He runs off to get one.

Schmidt brings a nice frosty beer to Nick, thanking him in advance for the spot. Nick admits he is giving the spot to Schmidt. Jess comes in, and Schmidt watches the two of them intently.

“The stench of filth and lust is all over this room. Smells like fricking Tijuana.”

Jess and Nick reluctantly admit that they kissed. Schmidt glares at them and storms off with an forced “mazel tov.”

Winston rushes to the drugstore, but realizes he put Daisy’s pants on and doesn’t have his wallet. He asks the line if anyone has one for him, but gets kicked out.

Jess and Nick knock on Schmidt’s door and ask if he’s okay. He’s back and forth on it. And pre-kiss Jess didn’t have a parking spot. He gets angry at Nick’s loyalty lying elsewhere. Nick gives Schmidt the space. He panics and rushes off, leaving Schmidt and Jess in a show down. She tries to do a purple nurple, but can’t find his nipples.

Jess finds Nick outside jamming the elevator button. They both act extremely weird to off-set the weirdness inside. Nick decides he’s taking the spot. He rushes off, with Jess and Schmidt following closely. They each race off to their own car. Nick’s car won’t start, and Jess’ is covered in cats.

Nick takes a chair and sits in the space, but Schmidt hits him with his car. Jess pulls up, and hits Schmidt’s car, pushing it out of the way. All three dash out and stand in the spot, claiming they will stand there all night.

CeCe tells her date she is glad he gave her another shot—and he agrees that you can’t judge someone by their friends. Winston bangs on the door and demands a condom, and gets ejected by CeCe. He ends up back at the loft. He finds a condom in Jess’ bedroom.

Schmidt desperately has to pee, but can’t leave the spot, so he absorbs it back in.

“Did you just pee inside your body?”

Schmidt reminds Nick he broke the “no-nail” contract that the boys all signed when Jess moved in.

Winston, finally in possession of a condom, goes back to find Daisy, but can’t find her apartment.

Jess admits to Nick that things have changed. Nick thinks it was the dumbest thing he’s ever done, and he regrets it and wishes he could take it back. Hurt, Jess tells him he can have the spot, and leaves.

“You realize that every moment you don’t run after her you become more and more of a buttwad,” Schmidt reminds him. Also, he has peed himself.

Nick follows Jess back and tells her he doesn’t regret kissing her, he regrets what happened after, and how things got weird. She is angry about the no-nail oath, like she just "couldn’t help it."

“It was me, Jess. I couldn’t help it.”

They almost kiss again, but Schmidt comes in. He reminds them that when the two of them go to crap he’s not going anywhere, they have to deal with him staying in the loft.

Schmidt reads the no-nail oath, which also includes that if one of the roommates nails Jess, they all get to nail her. She is not happy. They all admit they want thing to go back to normal—so Schmidt believes he has to kiss her. He does.

That is a mistake and makes it weirder.

Winston comes in at the moment, angry that he has nothing, no sex, and Schmidt and Jess are kissing. Also he is wearing pants that say “yum.” He needs a win.

They give him the parking space. It is so tight he can’t get out of the car. They all rush off and leave him.