'New Girl' Season 1, Episode 23 Recap - 'Backslide'

"New Girl" taught us a new relationship term this week. We already know about "kryptonite," but this week was all about the "backslide." That's when you make a clean break, but you try to sliiiiiiide back into it to make a mess of things. Don't try to act like you don't know what I'm talking about. We've all done it. This is a safe space, you can admit it.

So, having to watch Nick make the horrible decision of backsliding to Caroline, Jess decides to do her own backslide to Paul, which is met with much judgement from Schmidt and Winston. Things get really bad, though, when Jess discovers that Paul actually has a very serious girlfriend (she's just like Jess, except Asian).

In one of the more awkward and least believable scenes in recent memory, Jess helps Paul propose to Jen (yep), and she accepts. Not sure how that happened, really.

But that gives Jess some clarity: it's not just about finding the right time, it's about finding the person who really loves you, and whom you love. So naturally she runs to Nick to convince him not to settle for Caroline... but Nick is doing more than that. He's moving in with her.

Yes, despite the guys digging up the DVD that Nick made for himself after the last Caroline breakup and watching himself warn... himself... about staying away from Caroline, Nick is still going through with this. For now, anyway. You can tell we're getting near the end of the season. The stakes have never been higher! Except when Nick thought he was going to die!

Schmidt is having relationship issues of his own, as he can't be around Cece, even when she's dressed in sweats and a knit cap. His penis is still broken, so being around her at all causes him immense pain. Then again, being around pretty much anything causes him at least some level of arousal, so what else is new.

Cece finds a solution by bringing him to meet her grandmother at the nursing home, and Schmidt's innate disgust at old people manages to keep him pretty calm... at least until Cece admits that she wants to get serious with Schmidt, which causes him to literally pass out from the pain.

Winston doesn't have much to do this episode except for sit on his high horse and be the butt of jokes about his new earrings, but we thank him dearly for that.

Notes & Quotes:

- "Am I self-sabotaging? Am I secretly a Cylon?" Bonus points for "Battlestar Galactica" references!

- "Why is she dressed like a women's studies major?"

- Paul's awkward hug and ugly crying. Pretty good.

- "Now I know what Bill Clinton feels like!"

- "Asian Jess. Ow."

- Captain Black Sparrow! THE BEST

- "For someone with a soulmate, you sure did have sex with me."