'New Girl' Season 1, Episode 22 Recap - 'Tomatoes'

"AAAAAARGH SO CLOSE!!" -- everyone who just watched this episode.

Love in its various, awkward forms was in the air in this episode. Just as Nick, who started things off by announcing to his three roommates and their seemingly happy significant others that he was giving up women and taking up tomatoes. Growing them, not having sex with them.

That led to tension between him and Winston, who refuses to shut up about Shelby. "I used to be your Shelby! That came out wrong," exclaims Nick, pining for their lost friendship. But Nick does pick up a piece of sage advice from Winston, that of course he completely misuses: "I just called her out of the blue," he explains, telling Nick that they were at different points in their lives now, and now it's working. But we'll get to Nick's misuse later.

Schmidt and Cece had a cute episode, as Cece leads things off by telling Schmidt they should cool it for a while, maybe see other people. Cece's weird Russian model roommate Nadia jumps on the opportunity, and is, as it turns out, the new funniest character on the show. Rebecca Reid, people. Bravo.

As it turns out, Nadia is a little more than crazy, and her tryst with Schmidt results in a broken penis. Cece, horrified at the news, rushes to the hospital to see him and admits her feelings. Aww. It would be cute if there wasn't a broken penis involved. Though it does lead to an oddly adorable outro to the scene.

Where Shelby/Winston and Schmidt/Cece succeed, though, Jess has poorer luck. She runs into Russell's ex-wife Ouli at the gym (in the sauna, in fact), and out of panic invites her out to dinner with her and Russell. The result is a yelling match at the table between the divorced couple, but Jess makes a realization: Ouli still has feelings for Russell, or at least for the passion that was in their relationship.

It's that passion that Jess realizes is missing from her relationship with Russell. As he tells her, he's past that now. And thus, Jess' latest (and richest) suitor is gone.

We were, once again, so close to our Jess/Nick moment: when Jess walks in the door, she gets a thought and heads towards Nick's room. But when the door opens, she finds herself face to face with Caroline. A screaming match between Nick and Jess, similar to the one between Ouli and Russell, ensues, although there's much more butt fighting than arguing over Castilian accents.

Just that close to finally getting the Nick/Jess payoff. But honestly, how long do you really give the revival of Nick and Caroline?

Notes & Quotes:

- "Freeze frame!"

- Russell's half eye roll

- Nadia's list of things she likes about America. Amazing.

- "I want you to git."

- "I think I finally understand what 'The Tree of Life' is about."

- "You like my personality?" "I was surprised too."

- "I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF FACES!"

- Bonus points for the butt fight.