'Mike & Molly' Season 3, Episode 1: 'The Honeymoon is Over' Recap

Mike and Molly, after recently joining themselves in marriage (aww), are enjoying the last few glorious minutes of their Paris honeymoon.

Mike perhaps a little too much, as he’s desperately trying to smuggle cheese out of the country via Molly’s suitcase.

“Son of a bitch is smuggling cheese and setting me up to take the fall.”

Another thing Paris Mike doesn’t want to leave behind is his unfortunate French mustache, but thankfully, Molly insists, and the two board the plane to return home.

Back in Chicago, Carl is nursing his bruised feelings because Mike hasn’t bothered to check in the entire time he was on his honeymoon. Luckily he has a cool new temporary partner to take the sting off, and Carl is awed and impressed by the man.

“Eleven-year-old punk calls me a butthole you’re gonna hear about it on the 6 o’clock news!”

Meanwhile, Mike and Molly have begun the long journey home, concerned about what they will find at the house on their return—Molly for some reason is convinced it will involve a lot of stray cats.

Mike is having a hard time heading home. Paris has awaken him, he says. He wants to travel, he wants to see the world. They’re a teacher and cop, can’t they do that anywhere? He begins a bucket list, that largely involves eating exotic foods at landmarks around the world.

The two are probably right to be worried about the home front—the whole family’s drunk off mimosas that somehow turned into tang and tequila, and breaking into the wedding gifts.

On the plane, still troubled, Mike goes to the bathroom just as the plane experiences turbulence, and he is trapped inside, being tossed about. Instantly he realizes the bucket list was a bad idea—he just wants to go home! He cries for Molly, who sleeps comfortably on in first class.

Carl is enjoying his last day with his partner, even presenting him with the gift of a shoe insert to correct the back issue he noticed. He thanks him for making him feel appreciated. The partner thanks him with a passionate kiss on the mouth that leaves Carl speechless.

Mike and Molly finally make it back to the house which, as expected, is destroyed, the family passed out drunk, and a flock of cats flees down the stairs as they enter.

Carl and Mike share a tender reunion as Mike returns to work, and promise to never part again.