Lady Gaga Talks Marriage With Vanity Fair

Wow. If one asked Lady Gaga, she just might say that Jane Austen can pretty much suck it.

She's known more for her blunt honesty about sex and sexuality through her music than talking "Sense and Sensibility," but that doesn't mean Mother Monster has never pondered what's at the bottom of love's deep sea. It's just that there are depths she's never had the chance to explore.

“I have never felt truly cherished by a lover. I have an inability to know what happiness feels like with a man,” the singer comes clean to Vanity Fair editor Lisa Robinson in the most recent Vanity Fair.

Still, considering her ever-present consciousness and manipulation of her image, it shouldn't be too surprising that there's considerable self-interest and fame-preservation holding her back sometimes.

 “I say this honestly, and this is my new thing as of the past year: when I fight with someone I’m in a relationship with, I think, What would my fans think if they knew this was happening? How would they feel about my work and about me as a female if they knew I was allowing this to go on? And then I get out," she said.

Oh, I don't know. Maybe "Whoopity-s***. She's half of a couple. Couples fight, especially famous ones. Further breaking news: the sky is blue."

But, in typical aware-she's-an-icon fashion, she claims she isn't sure one way or another whether it will work out with current beau and "Vampire Diaries" actor Taylor Kinney because she's seemingly just too awesomely creative. Minds get blown. S*** gets real.

“Perhaps it’s a whose-dick-is-bigger contest," Gaga pontificated, though she may have been plagiarizing Bronte a little with that one. "If I go to the piano and write a quick song and play it back, they are angry with how fast and effortless it is. That’s who I am, and I don’t apologize for it. But it’s a hideous place to be in when someone that you love has convinced you that you will never be good enough for anyone. I had a man say to me, ‘You will die alone in a house bigger than you know, with all your money and hit records, and you will die alone.’”

Oh, but then the claws come out and she engages the Mega-Diva mode.

“Even though I know it sounds a bit Hallmark, whenever I [was] in that kind of stressful, worthless moment, I would think, I would think 'I'll show you'," she recalled. “I think what it really is, is that I date creative people. And I think that what intimidates them is not my purse; it’s my mind.”

But what has it sometimes come down to when she's been faced with the possibility of settling down for realsies - especially when it comes after a relationship?

“How f&*kin’ romantic, you a#@hole. Sure, pop a ring on my finger and make it all better. I can buy myself a fuckin’ ring," she said.