Kim Kardashian: Bigger Than Aniston, Jolie And Paltrow?

It's an evolution of the question, "Quantity or quality?": Does being the most famous person really mean anything if you're mostly famous for getting on others' nerves?

Incredibly, Kim Kardashian of all people could be the allegory that illustrates the query. Surely a math genius of savant proportions, she's apparently quantified her notoriety and found it to equal the same of three far more talented individuals' collective levels of recognition, RadarOnline.com has announced.

"I'm more famous than Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie and Gwyneth Paltrow combined," she allegedly told a friend recently, who in turn blabbed to the site.

So ... "Quantity or quality?"

Let's first take Aniston. If an actress' outward persona could grant her claim to the crown of a post-Julia Roberts America's Sweetheart that's won the admiration and respect of everyday women across the United States, it would probably be Aniston. She's not simply beautiful. She's personable. She's funny. She's sometimes very raw. She's "one of us." On top of that, she's an outstanding actress best known for being a breakout player on one of television history's most successful sitcoms, NBC's "Friends."

Then there's Jolie. In Jolie's prime, she was walking, talking, curvaceous, slightly-unhinged sexy. On top of that, she's earned multiple Academy Award nominations, winning Best Supporting Actress starring alongside Brittany Murphy in "Girl, Interrupted."

Paltrow? Another Academy Award winner - Best Actress, "Shakespeare in Love." Since then, she married the lead singer of one of the biggest bands on Earth, and has co-starred in both "Iron Man" movies, which were instrumental in helping launch "The Avengers."

Kardashian? She divorced an NBA bench-warmer less than six months after marrying him, and taped herself boning Brandy's little brother. Somehow, she and her family then parlayed that into a "Keeping Up with The Kardashians," the pox upon the House of E! that I remain convinced extraterrestrials will one day present as damning evidence supporting wiping out Earth in favor of a hyperspace bypass.

Know where your towels are, folks.

"She just doesn't seem to understand that she is not a movie star, and she is famous for all the wrong reasons," Kim's friend said. "Kim thinks she made a huge mistake and wasted her time marrying Kris [Humphries] because he is a no-name. She is obsessed with the fact she married someone less famous than herself and has plans to fix that by marrying Kanye. She feels if Angelina can marry an A-lister, then so can she!"

Anybody else get the feeling Western civilization is just gradually stepping backward toward the days when lines of nobility would marry and inbreed within the family just to keep the pedigree intact?

The bypass is looking understandable, folks. Brush up your Vogon. They've such lovely poetry.