Kanye West, Kim Kardashian Sued Over Alleged Al-Qaeda Ties

This is a thing. It's a real thing. You can't convince that the all-powerful, all-snarking, all-singing, all-dancing Comedy Gods of the World have not shone their golden lights upon me.

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian have been sued by a man claiming the attention-whore lovebirds have ties with Al-Qaeda.

All Hip Hop claims that the buxom "Keeping Up with The Kardashians" and Ray J. sex-tape star and the Grammy-nominated rapper/producer face charges from no less than the esteemed Jonathan Lee Riches of West Virginia.

Riches' filing in the Northern District of West Virginia claims that West and Kardashian's combined terrorist links place every single American citizen in imminent danger, and further goes on to name parents Kris and Bruce Jenner and sisters Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian as "terrorist" co-defendants.

Grip your asses firmly, folks. It doesn't get less bug-f**k insane from here. It bears noting that Riches holds the Guinness World Record for "World's Most Litigious Man" thanks to 5,000 lawsuits filed in the past eight years.

"On 6/17/2012 I was in West Virginia, deep in the hills and I stumbled upon the defendants who were all at [an] Al-Qaeda secret training camp," Riches wrote under the alias "Gino Romano," leaving me unsure whether he mistakenly grabbed a hard copy of a recent fan fiction that he'd laid atop his actual filing. He then claims that West and the Kardashian clan then swore their Al-Qaeda allegiance, stomped President Barack Obama's picture and torched an American flag. West then apparently performed a private concert for the terrorists, complaint with wild AK-47 fire into the air courtesy of the outspoken artist.

Did we mention Riches/"Romano" was recently released from serving a fraud prison sentence? Or that he claims West heads up the Chicago street gang El-Rukns?

I implore you all: visit the cited link. It includes a slideshow of the actual documents, proving this is a real thing.