'Jersey Shore' Season 5, Episode 4 Recap - 'Free Vinny'

Danny, the gang's boss at the Shore Store, comes in and pretends like their job is an actual job, and says that he needs more people in the house so that there are enough of them to man the store. "New roommates?" says Snooki, probably because one of the producers told her to.

But then Mike shows back up, whining all the way about his birthday. Ironically, he doesn't know about the huge surprise party the girls are showing for him and Pauly tonight. They have strippers.

Danny is really committed to this whole new roommate thing, so much so that he prints out one piece of white paper with "HELP WANTED SEE MANAGER" on it. JWoww tears it down in a fit of rage. Is anything else going on? We need Vinny back. I never thought I would miss one of these assholes.

"What's a good name for Danny since he's being a douche?" asks Jenni. "Help wanted, see the old guy," responds Mike. "They might think it's talking about you," mutters Jenni. ZING!

You'll all be thrilled to know that the surprise party went over swimmingly. "It's pretty hard to surprise me," says Mike. I feel like Mike is probably surprised when the sun comes up every day. It is actually kinda funny, though, that they put the guys in wheelchairs and gave them canes. They're both over 30 and they're still doing this ridiculous stuff.

Mike brings a stripper home and then doesn't have sex with her because she's picky about socks. This is what we have been reduced to, people.

But things pick up when Snooki and Deena break out the terrifying bunny costume that they bought and scare the living bejeezus out of JWoww. If any of the other roommates scream that hard when it's used on them, that will be good. Hey, we have to look forward to something, don't we?

There we go. Sammi wails on some chick in the middle of the club. She claims she got attacked by a "swarm of chicks" but it looked like just one very angry one. "I was always taught to like, self defend myself," says Sammi.

"I'm never drinking again," says Snooki for probably the tenth time in the last few episodes. Then she claims she's having a heart attack and has stomach pains. This is a warning, Snooki. A warning.

Pauly has an idea: they're all going to go get Vinny. It takes this long, apparently, for ideas to form fully in their heads. What's actually really cute about it is they make t-shirts and everything with Vinny sayings on them. Everybody's really excited about the whole thing, then they get to Vinny's house and nobody answers the door. Then they break into his house.

Big news everyone: Vinny got a new chest tattoo. It says "Let Go, Let God." Okay.

So with that, the charade is over and Vinny comes back to the house. So now Danny can stop pretending that he needs employees so badly that he's going to essentially audition a new housemate, because frankly that's silly.