'Jersey Shore' Season 5, Episode 10 Recap - 'One Meatball Stands Alone'

We start off with Mike telling Jionni all about how he and Snooki hooked up, to which Jionni responds with a very calm "okay, thanks bro." Here's a pro tip from Jionni that everyone else on this show could afford to take: don't believe everything people tell you by hearsay. Jionni is completely calm, knowing that Mike is most likely full of crap.

"Jionni is a very quiet conservative guy and he doesn't like to start arguments," says Snooki. So, you mean he's a normal, stable person?

Meanwhile, the rest of the house is flabberghasted that Jionni isn't throwing stuff and screaming like the rest of them would at this point. Pauly theorizes that Jionni is unaffected because he's also sleeping with people on the side.

So that big fight that the show advertised from the beginning as a showdown between Snooki and Sitch? It's just a food fight between the housemates that results in some slightly meaner food fighting between Snooki and Sitch. Ooh, conflict.

Last day of fake work for the crew. Riveting.

Desperate Deena calls Joey, even after her unnecessary hissy fit at the club. Even more surprisingly, the guy agrees to hang out with her. Snooki is still concerned that he's just using Deena for sex, but I maintain that no one would put this much effort into a girl who is this much of a pain in the ass just to get laid.

So the plan from the roommates is to tell Joey, when he shows up outside, that Deena is sick. "I drove all the way out here, this is a joke," he says, totally justified in doing so. The psychos then theorize that if he really liked Deena, he would offer "chicken noodle soup or medicine or something." Jenni, queen psycho, then hops on the phone and essentially breaks up with the guy on Deena's behalf. What. Just. Happened?

The gang goes camping, because the producers told them to, because nothing is happening on this show so they have to put them in a situation in which they don't belong. They all pack rolling suitcases. Adorable. But the whole thing provides an opportunity for Vinny and Pauly to pull "the ultimate prank ever," which involves taking all the stuff inside the house, and putting it outside. Brilliant.

Mike and Jenni are surprisingly adept at pitching a tent. Ronnie and Sammi are not. Ronnie says he's "surprised that Mike has the brain span to pitch a tent." I'm not surprised you don't have the brain span to make up a term like "brain span." Then Mike builds a fire and puts a whole branch on it, then covers it in lighter fluid. "He's just one of those people, like a hermaphrodite or whatever," says Deena. Talk about a lack of brain span.

Pauly and Vinny's prank reaches a new level when they get astroturf to make the living room look like the upstairs deck. They even blow up a kiddie pool manually. Orally? You know what I mean.

Drama time, as Desperate Deena confronts Snooki and Jenni about ditching her all the time for their boyfriends. I don't see that happening much. In the morning, the group decides to get out. They have made an unbelievable mess of the campground in probably less than 12 hours. They're a veritable natural disaster.

As the finishing touch on Vinny and Pauly's prank, they chill in the kiddie pool with floaties on and drink umbrella drinks. I'll admit it, they really outdid themselves this time. Not much of a cliffhanger to our last episode, though. Once again, a lack of drama.