'Jersey Shore' Season 4, Episode 9 Recap - 'Three Men and a Snooki'

The morning after her meltdown, Snooki (still in her dress from last night) tries to call Jionni and get him to come back. I'm surprised she remembers what happened last night at all. She always seems to conveniently forget these kinds of things. Her solution is to go to a bar in the middle of the day and dance. Oh, and nobody else is dancing.

At work, Deena is forced to clean the bathroom. "I friggin don't do bathrooms," she says. Why not, you do everything else don't you?

Later, Snooki calls her dad, who drops some F-bombs. Then, when Jwoww walks in, she greets her with "I needed you, asshole!" Jwoww, if you remember, walked miles in her heels trying to find Jionni and get him back, but was met with screaming from Snooki... you know, stuff like "get the f*** away from me!" Exactly the kind of stuff you say to a friend who's trying to help you.

But Jenni puts that aside and manages to get Jionni on the phone. After a sniffling conversation with him, Snooki finds out that he's at the train station and runs down there to find him and bring him back. Sure enough, there he is, nonchalantly chewing on something. But he's already bought a train ticket to Rome and booked another flight back home.

So, Snooki sobs on the stairs while Vinny and Pauly prank Deena by piling stuff on her bed. When Deena tries to get Vinny to take it down, he jumps out of the shower naked and runs her out of the room. Then she tries to take it down herself and gets stuck under the couch. That's funny, but this isn't: Deena thinks she might be pregnant. Can you imagine? I don't want to. "This is an atomic bomb waiting to go off," says Jenni. Poor Jwoww. It clearly doesn't pay to be the only marginally sane person on this show.

So Jwoww and Deena go to some kind of speakeasy pharmacy where the person inside literally slides open a little peep hole in the door and gives them a pregnancy test. It's negative. Of course. Congratulations Deena, you just got some more screen time.

Snooki calls Jionni once again, and once again gets all "I don't deserve this," while Jionni tries desperately to explain the logic of the situation to her. She ends up hanging up on him. You know what I really love about this show? All the maturity.

Snicks is so depressed that she wishes she could just go to Karma. Then Snooki had an idea. An awful idea. Snicks had a wonderful, awful idea. She tells Pauly to get his DJ equipment out, and they should all get dressed up and pretend that the living room is Karma.

Mike, meanwhile, sees the whole Jionni thing as an opportunity for him to swoop in and win Snooki for his own. "I love you. I do," he says. Hurrp. Sorry, I just threw up a little bit in the back of my mouth.

He continues on to tell her that the guys were all telling him to kick Jionni in the head. Snooki doesn't seem to remember that Mike is a complete liar. I think her problem is less the drinking and more just long-term memory loss. Well... maybe it's brought on by the drinking.

This probably wasn't, though: while Deena tries (unsuccessfully, again) to sleep with Pauly, Snooki crawls in bed with Vinny and promptly hooks up with him. Yeah, Snicks. That'll get him back.