'Jersey Shore' Season 4, Episode 8 Recap - 'Where Is My Boyfriend?'

We pick up where we left off, with Snooki and Deena dealing with the cops as she ran into a cop car and didn't have her license with her. The cops have her blow into a breathalyzer, and somehow she blows a zero. It's a miracle!

Still, they cart her off to the station and hold her for a couple of hours, until the guys bail Team Meatball out.

"I'm not even allowed to drive in LA, they took my license," says Snooki. I am so shocked.

Snooki calls up Jionni and learns that Roger might not be coming because he can't take off work. CUE THE DRAMATIC MUSIC. Interestingly, Roger doesn't apologize to Jwoww once during their conversation. What does Roger do that's so important that he can't take time off work? He doesn't look like someone who's involved in homeland security or anything.

Snooki is home while everyone else goes out, and hears the buzzer ring...and (music sting) it's Brittany! Snooki actually brings her into the confession room and has her talk about her feelings for Mike, then puts her in Mike's bed. Ultimate prank? Perhaps. Certainly one of the most awkward ones, because Mike is coming back with another chick.

Surprise move, Mike take Brittany over his new Australian girl. That's a major upset, like Buster Douglas over Mike Tyson major. He actually went for the stalker.

Snooki puts on her own "trying on different outfits" montage in anticipation of Jionni's arrival. Snooki wants to smush promptly, but Jionni wants to shower first. Hold on, this guy is only a little taller than Snicks. What is he, 5'2"?

"I think he knows," says Mike when he meets Jionni. He's insisting that Jionni is on to him about the hooking up with Snooki thing that he totally made up. Mike is apparently also into karate now, as if he couldn't get any more annoying. He's being all creepy around Jionni and Snooki too, to make things worse.

Snooki is once again embarassing herself and Jionni by pulling her dress up, and Jionni throws his jacket at her and leaves. Snooki goes chasing after him, but falls down too many times to keep up. Snooki ends up sitting on a street corner and crying while Jwoww, who Snooki just screamed at, goes off to find Jionni. "I don't deserve this right now!" Snooki screams. You know what else you don't deserve? The $100,000 you make every episode. So keep whining.

Ronnie valiantly tries to run intervention, and Jwoww even more valiantly walks after him in her heels. Meanwhile, in the cab are two girls and a baby as Sammi and Deena deal with the sobbing Snooki. Vinny is the only one that actually manages to properly calm her down, which is actually kind of a touching moment. Hey, how about that? This show made me not hate humanity for a second.

"I feel f***ing terrible," says Sammi. "Don't f***ing like this s**t." Oh really? Not so nice when you're on the outside of the fight, is it? "Now I'm on the other side of it, and I don't like it," she admits, with that familiar look on her face of smelling something bad.

Jionni finally returns, but when Snooki runs down to meet him, he just brushes right by and then locks himself in the bathroom. "I f***ing love you, you f***ing dick!" screams Snooki, shortly after screaming "I hate you!" Jionni actually leaves in a cab. "I'm a really good girlfriend!" says Snooki, "I didn't cheat on him!" What about that one time when you hooked up with Deena?