'Jersey Shore' Season 4, Episode 4 Recap - 'Crime and Punishment'

When we last left the crew, Mike's plans for a menage a trois was disrupted by Deena, who stole the twin in the equation and hooked up with her. The next morning, Mike informs Erica, the virgin twin, that her sister is leaving.

"I'm an individual!" Declares Erica. Yeah, you're also gross. Go home, you've embarassed yourself enough.

Mike is continuing to tell his stories about hooking up with Snooki, and Snooki is continuing to deny it. It's kind of like asking two 9-year-olds who broke the lamp. One of them is lying, but it could be either of them. It's not like one of them is above being a total liar.

Snooki seems confident enough that she's telling the truth to call Jionni and tell him about the drama and inform him that nothing happened. That seems to go over pretty smoothly.

Snooki then suggests that they have babies, and belches. I think they're gonna make it, you guys.

The girls decide to wear huge hats to Sunday Dinner, and Sitch puts it best: "It's like the Kentucky Derby f***ed the Easter Bunny." Up next: the most awkward dinner ever. I don't know what's worse, the daggers between Mike and Snooki, or Deena discussing her bi-curiousness. The whole thing is being blown wayyyyy out of proportion, as the guys mock her for cockblocking and Deena takes it personally.

There's only one solution: prank Deena by moving her bed into the living room. That puts Deena in tears. Nice move, Pauly and Vinny. No way was she going to interpret that prank as "hey, get the f*** out of our room." She actually has an anxiety attack over this. "Breathe, just breathe," Sammi says, as though this is some kind of actual crisis.

House meeting! Everybody, let's discuss Deena's personal problems! Deena sobs through her existential crisis, saying that she doesn't know who she is anymore and that she "drinks and does stupid stuff" out here in Italy. Uh, isn't that the entire premise of this show?

Deena, Pauly and Snooki will be working the first shift at the pizza place, and while Snooki and Deena work inside, Pauly schmoozes with girls and passes out flyers. Mostly the schmoozing, though. Snooki and Deena, meanwhile, are fitting themselves into trash bags and, no joke, getting customers to buy them wine so they can chug it in the back of the restaurant. This might be a new level of awful as far as their employability skills go.

Blah blah Ronnie and Sammi blah.

Jwoww and Snooki go to dinner and have a lovely conversation about making molds of their boyfriends' penises. Yet somehow, this is less disgusting than Ronnie and Sammi being all "in love" with each other.

Jenni (who I'm surprised to see eating food of any kind), is concerned about Ron and Sam considering the fact that Ronnie has been talking a lot with the girl Hannah back home. You can only imagine the s***storm that would happen if Sam found out about that, considering the two get in a drunk fight at the bar because a girl danced in the general vicinity of Ronnie. "I just don't understand what went wrong!" Deena wonders. Here's a hint: alcohol.

Mike and Pauly bring back some girls, but when Pauly strikes out, Sitch's girl peaces out as well. So, Mike calls Brittany. Classy, dude.

But while he's waiting, Sammi tells Ronni about Sitch's big mouth the other day at lunch, telling everyone that Ronnie had "five girls on the way." Ronnie doesn't help her mood any by agreeing with the statement, which causes her to storm off.

So naturally, Ronnie decides it's time to take the whole thing out on Mike. "Now I'm going to flip the f*** out," declares Ronnie, which is a surprisingly calm and reasoned thing to say for someone who is about to, as he says, "flip the f*** out."

Sitch, like a reasonable person, doesn't remember the off-handed comment he said about Ronnie two days ago. Rather than taking that as a hint that it's not a big deal, Ronnie and Sammi accuse him of lying, and Ronnie goes about trashing Mike's bed.

Things are left on that note, so we'll have to tune in for the special episode on Sunday before the VMA's to see exactly how this fight goes down. Don't miss it! It's going to be totally unreasonable and stupid!