'Jersey Shore' Season 4, Episode 3 Recap - 'Twinning'

So, last week we saw Deena continue, unsuccessfully, to try to sleep with Pauly, Stich unsuccessfully try to sleep with Snooki, and Sammi very unsuccessfully try to get back together with Ronnie. Three bullets dodged!

Ronnie and Snooki are all buddy-buddy now that Snicks is all dedicated to working out and Ronnie is dedicated to drinking. Too bad neither of them are dedicated to navigation: they're completely terrible at finding their way around the city. When they finally do get there, the trainer is very touchy-feely.

Deena, meanwhile, is looking for her Italian "lean cuisine" and seems to find one in her waiter at the restaurant at lunch. She ever-so-smoothly asks him "do you have a phone number? Do you...want me to have your phone number?"

At the club, Snooki is determined to avoid getting hit on since she's taken now. She accomplishes this by literally running and screaming when a guy says "Hey, belissima!" Deena is less cautious, and is making out with her new waiter friend Ellis all over the place.

"I just want you to have fun in Florence, Italy," says Sammi to Ronnie. Firstly, thanks for confirming the city and country in which we are currently located. Secondly, get off.

The story behind the episode's title is explained as Vinny and Pauly meet a set of hot twins at the club. Pauly, filming this at a time when Charlie Sheen was still news, declares it "twinning!"

Deena brings Ellis back home to "cuddle," but blows it by totally flipping out on Pauly and Vinny. To be fair, the guys were kind of being c***blocks. How do you say that in Italian? Anyway, her ridiculous screaming causes Ellis to say he's going home, but Deena convinces him to stay the night...at least until he sneaks off while she's asleep. You did it, Ellis! You just became the smartest person to ever be on this show!

We have a new stalker: Brittany keeps calling Mike over and over, to which Ronnie responds by hanging up twice and Pauly responds by confessing his own love for her. Finally, Ronnie decides to pull a prank on Sitch and answer the phone doing his best Mike impression (it's not bad). He invites her and her twin over to hang out with Mike in the morning. What a mean, dastardly prank, making the poor man get breakfast with two blonde twins.

Mike has an appropriately shocked reaction when he sees them in the morning, but it's not as good as Snooki's: "Why are they here? It's daytime!" Sitch decides he now has a mission: have a threesome with the twins. I am willing to bet anyone my entire life savings that this will not happen.

Ronnie and Sammi go on a romantic dinner date and talk the usual crap: "I'm never gonna hurt you" and "Obviously I love you Sam," and "I miss the feeling of holding you." Jeez, that took a turn pretty quick. So much for single Ronnie. I'll miss him. "This time it's going to be different," Ronnie says. His blind, misguided optimism is admirable if not misplaced.

The gang is having a great time at their new favorite club, Flo. Just as Pauly says "it's just like the first time in Jersey," the STALKERS show up. But Snooki swoops in and tries to hook Mike up with his threesome. But just as quickly, Deena swoops in and starts making out with one of the twins. The virgin one. Are we buying that?

"I don't think I'd ever date a girl, because I really, really love penis," declares Deena. Charming. But the robber gets robbed as the "virgin" starts making out with Vinny. This is one classy chick.

"He told me a story the other day that I don't want to repeat," says Ronnie as Snooki and Mike walk through the room. Yeah, because that's the best way to make sure nobody asks you about it. Mike, meanwhile, is once again trying to hook up with Snooki, that is until Jwoww takes her newly-discovered information from Ronnie and tells Snooki, who confronts Sitch about it. Snooki, by the way vehemently denies that anything happened, so one of these two is a liar. I guess it isn't Sitch, because he keeps repeating "I'm not gonna lie." How can you argue with that?

So, Deena wimps out on the whole lesbian thing, and sends virgin Erica back into Vinny's bed. No better way to look good on national television, kiddo.

Watching Sitch deal with this clusterf*** while simultaneously trying to herd his stalker, who keeps wandering around the house, is kind of hilarious. The episode ends without any close on the Snooki/Sitch situation, so it looks like this will be an ongoing thing. You really get the sense that a lot of this is set up, though, or at least inflated by the producers. Say hello to our first season four storyline.