'Jersey Shore' Season 4, Episode 11 Recap - 'Situation Problems'

We pick back up with Snooki's conversation with Jionni, as she tells him that she hooked up with Vinny. Jionni has enough self-respect to at least go with "I'm not calling you my girlfriend right now."

Snooki's sick. Cough cough. But her chances of throwing up are still less than mine, since I'm watching Deena continue to unabashedly hit on Pauly while poor Pauly evades. "I need to bring a girl back so Deena doesn't f**k me tonight," says Pauly. Yes you do, Pauly.

Unfortunately, Pauly strikes out and Deena is drunk (SHOCKER), so he'd better go hide in a cupboard or something. "I have no shame," says Deena. Did you also know that the sky is blue?

Guido problems! "When you're trying to dance on a table and you hit your head on a chandelier," that's a Guido problem. Pauly, king of the coined term, coins yet another.

At the club, Mike gets what's coming to him: the crowd starts chanting "shame" at him and the rest of the crew. "Mangia... you!" Says Sitch. Scary. Vinny claims the only reason Mike is acting like a tough guy because there's security at the club. The guys head back home, and Pauly and Vinny declare their bromance for each other. Aww.

The Meatballs don't want to stop drinking yet (surprise), so they head to another bar, where they're harassed as well. Even the bartender throws ice at them. I guess the general public has finally caught on to the fact that these wackos are living here. Snooki and Deena are still angry about it an hour later, so they go in the hot tub. Then, still having not slept and seeing the sun is up, they decide to go out again to drink more. I have nothing more to say about the behavior of these two. It's gone beyond funny and turned seriously sad.

What's still funny to me, though, are the awful, awful commercials that they put together with these kids that only air on MTV and during this show. Amazing.

Sammi and Jenni are actually getting along through their shared fatigue of the Meatball shenanigans. Deena and Mike, however, are at each other's throats. Then again, nobody likes Mike. Dude wears sunglasses indoors. It gets worse when the question of who gets what room back in Jersey comes up, and Vinny outright says that he doesn't want to room with Sitch. In response, Mike says that he might not even be going to Jersey. Yeah, right. That starts a whole dialogue as Vinny says that Mike either has to "change or leave." My prediction is that neither happens.

At least a couple of the housemates are getting along: forget what I said before, now Pauly and Vinny really declare their bromance for each other.

The crew has a blast at the club... all except Mike, who just starts more crap with strangers. He ends up alone in the living room later, contemplating where things would be without him as the "bad guy." Sitch, I think you're confusing "Jersey Shore" with a show that has plot and structure. Things will be fine.