The Internet Hates Robert Pattinson's Microwave Pasta
by EG
Robert Pattinson may be one of the sexiest men alive, and he may be the next Batman. But he apparently doesn't know how to cook very well or even know the difference between an oven and a microwave. The internet is aghast at the terrible meal he made while working on a GQ cover story during his pandemic social distancing. Read on for details.
Via Page Six.
A spectre is haunting Twitter — of the microwaved pasta dish Robert Pattinson cooked for his self-shot GQ cover.
All the powers of social media have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this demonic creation: Reporters for Mel Magazine, Man Repeller and countless other internet provocateurs attempted to make Pattinson’s version of piccolini cuscino — a proprietary recipe involving pasta, cheese, sugar and Corn flakes smashed into a tinfoil ball and then mistakenly put into the microwave instead of the oven.
“The f - - king electricity . . . Oh, my God,” says Pattinson from the floor after the aluminum explodes in the profoundly unhinged interview.
The profile has deeply resonated with internet denizens who, trapped in quarantine because of the coronavirus pandemic, find the surrealist cooking failures of an objectively hot inpidual to be extremely relatable content — a balm for the dreamlike state of nihilism many find themselves in after accepting their fate to indefinitely stay inside with limited human interaction.
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“Robert Pattinson cooking pasta in isolation is truly . . . an experience,” tweets “Shrill” actress Niccole Thurman.
“Sorry how is it Robert Pattinson can cook sugar & cheese pasta in the f - - king microwave and you lot are still wet hot and spicy for him but when i do it it’s ‘we’re getting concerned’ and ‘are you sure you’re coping okay?’ ” writes advice columnist Beth McColl.
Get the rest of the story at Page Six.
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