'How I Met Your Mother' Season 8, Episode 3: 'Nannies' Recap

Marshall and Lily:

Marshall and Lily are looking worse for wear. It turns out Lily’s dad showed up at their apartment and has been living with them, as he blew up his garage with old fireworks and burned his house down. A story Robin now remembers covering, and places Lily’s dad as the naked man who ran back inside to get potato salad.

They are going back to work Monday, and Lily’s crazy dad is adding to the stress of trying to find a nanny.

And why don’t they just use dear ol’ dad? Flashback to little girl Lily, at the horse track. On her birthday.

After countless interviews, they find the perfect nanny—Mrs. Buckminster. She’s ideal, but her asking salary leaves them crying. After more interviews, they finally find a pretty young thing from Marshall’s hometown that they love, and whose fee is within their budget. She says she has one other interview, but she thinks she will probably accept their job.

Only, she doesn’t. They call her later to find out, and she says she’s sorry, but she’s fallen in love with a single father who also happens to be a billionaire.

Furious, they show up at Barney’s, demanding his Bangtober fest jig be up. Lily storms off in a fury, but she’s placated when later Barney sends them Mrs. Buckminster, her salary paid. But, when it comes time to hand off baby Marvin, Lily can’t do it.

Marshall comes home and finds her asleep with baby Marvin in a blanket, having napped all day. Only it isn’t the baby, it’s a stuffed orangutan. Panicked, they rush out, but Lily’s dad is walking in with the stroller and baby intact. He swapped the baby for the ape—well, first, a sandwich, but then he got hungry—and set about being an excellent caretaker.

He reminds Lily that when she was young, before she can probably remember, he was a stay-at-home dad. He shows her the photo album of her he saved from the burning house—along with the potato salad. Turns out the gambling problem started the day he dropped Lily off at preschool and didn’t know what to do with himself.

Lily hires him to watch the baby. Cue cute montage through the years of good guy Grandpa.

Barney:

Well, Barney’s on the road to recovery after his break-up with Quinn, and it’s called Bangtober Fest—and it involves a t-shirt gun. Classic.

However, the problem is, Bangtober isn’t innovative enough. Barney’s getting bored of all his old tricks. He gets onto Marshall and Lily’s nanny site and starts a con on there. However, the nannies he sleeps with mob him on the street, and beat him up. He wakes up in a dumpster covered in diapers, with a pacifier somewhere he’s not willing to discuss. He has a strange twitchy breakdown about being single and missing Quinn.

He decides to go back to classics, but he’s stopped by Mrs. Buckminster, who scolds him, and tells the girl at the bar to make better decisions. Then she put the moves on Barney herself, and winds up in his bed. Even though he cries is can never happen again, she says, “Oh, pish posh. You said that five times ago.” And yes. Ew.

Robin and Ted

Robin volunteers herself and Nick as babysitters, but Ted is quick to volunteer himself and Victoria. They argue about which couple is clicking better and it becomes a competition. Ted shows off a wedding card he has RSVPed for, in Jamaica, 6 months from then. Robin says she has met Nick’s parents, which trumps him.

Ted and Robin desperately try to one-up each other, until Ted points out that Nick and Robin had a strange argument while watching a game. Robin admits that he is emotional and needy. She points out that Victoria is incredibly messy. The two commiserate about their partners—Nick, who cried when she killed a spider, and Victoria, the slob.

Listening to Barney conclude that he is confused about his break up with Quinn, they become determined to appreciate their relationships and try hard to enjoy them.

Voiceover Ted says they’ll implode within the month.