'How I Met Your Mother' Season 8, Episode 22: 'The Bro Mitzva' Recap
by Shannon Keirnan
It didn’t start out like that—Barney announces his life is perfect just six hours earlier. Robin is preparing for dinner with his mother. Barney just has to drop off his $5,000 catering deposit and he’ll meet her there. What can happen?
A moment after stepping outside, he is kidnapped.
Luckily it’s just for his surprise bachelor party. Barney is relieved—he didn’t think they could pull it off. This is his “bro-mitzvah,” that he has perfectly planned. He calls Robin with the great news, but she refuses to do dinner with Ms. Stintson alone.
He calls his mom with an excuse, but she is already there. Right after Barney has told her Robin can’t stand the idea of having dinner with her.
They bring Barney to the hotel, which is far enough away from Atlantic City to avoid any of Barney’s problems with gambling. Marshall and Ted prepare a drinking game… to “An Inconvenient Truth.” And call in the clown to make balloon animals. Lily shows up to fulfill another number on the list… bring in the Karate Kid. Ralph Macchio shows up, but Barney wants the kid he defeated, the true Karate Kid!
Robin calls and wants to know why Barney’s mom thinks she is a virgin.
Ralph Macchio wants to stay. He is eerily like Barney, which annoys Barney. The stripper arrives—and it is Quinn. She’s hurt to see Barney engaged again, and doing so well. Her life has fallen apart. She decides to strip for everyone except Barney. He has to sit in the bathroom.
Robin calls again. Barney’s mom has been showing her how to have sex with breadsticks and a napkin ring. When Robin finally admitted she wasn’t a virgin, Loretta got drunk and even more detailed.
Disappointed, Barney insists they leave. He gives everyone a ride back to the city—but Ralph Macchio makes him mad, saying who goes near Atlantic City and doesn’t gamble, and he swings the car around and goes to his Chinese gambling game.
He loses $5,000. He asks for credit. He plays again… and he loses $80,000.
In the car to go home, Lily is hitting on Ralph when Ralph points out her husband is… missing? Turns out Barney used him as the credit. Everyone, angry, exits the car. Robin is standing outside and screams at Barney, for having the worst night of her life. Quinn comes out and demands her fee.
Robin tries to fight her, and ends up throwing her key at Barney. She tells him it’s over. Quinn, who never got to do that, picks up the key and throws it at him as well.
Robin goes around the corner and calls Ted—she tells them they are right on schedule. Quinn comes around and meets her, and they get excited about the plan.
Because of Barney’s lack of faith in their ability to throw a great party, they decided that the memorable thing to do for the guy who lives every day as the best night of his life is give him the worst night of his life. Ralph Macchio said the right thing, and they go to the Chinese casino and rig the game.
Back to the story—the Chinese mobsters drive up with Marshall, and “chop” off his hand in front of Barney. They grab him and drag him upstairs… where the surprise is waiting.
Robin shows him they checked off everything on his list… in the most twisted way imaginable. Barney is thrilled.
Barney points out that they are missing someone on the list… the real Karate Kid…
But wait! The clown begins to wipe off his makeup. It is William Zabka.