'How I Met Your Mother' Season 8, Episode 14: 'Ring Up' Recap

Ted comes in with the harrowing tale of how a cab jumped the curb, and he lifted it off of an old lady with his adrenaline strength… but the gang is more interested in the fact that he seems to be wearing a bracelet.

Ted tells them that because of the wrist cuff he actually has a date. He tries to encourage his friends to come outside and meet her… because she’s only 20 and not old enough to go into the bar.

He insists he didn’t buy the leather cuff to get a date with her… she just happens to sell leather cuffs.

Ted goes out with his young date, but there seems to be a weird language barrier, and she eats strange things. She also calls him an “old man.” She asks if he was in Vietnam. He realizes he has to end things.

Marshall tries on the leather cuff. Lily finds it oddly arousing, and takes him back to their place to have her way with him.

Robin comes in, ruining the mood, to explain, in musical form, about her strange day. Normally, her mornings are lovely. Men sing to her and give her free things in a choreographed manner. But today… she has to pay for her coffee.

They explain to her that her engagement ring makes her invisible to men.

Barney sneaks into Ted’s room while he’s sleeping, scaring the crap out of him. Barney tells him he has to bang the 20-year-old, for him. He tells him his body is detoxing after years of one-night stands. He insists Ted must proxy-bang her. Ted says he has to have a connection to someone to hook up with them, so Barney forces him to find some common ground.

At the bar, Robin is horrified that her friendly, inexpensive New York is now as difficult to live in as San Francisco. Marshall continues to wear the leather cuff, even though he’s allergic to it, and has added all black, a hat, and a watch chain. Robin finds out she might not be able to get a drink anymore now that she has the ring on.

She removes it, and magically, men step aside, and she makes it to the bar. She puts the ring on and literally becomes invisible.

At Barney’s apartment, Barney is in bad shape. He’s sweating horribly, and he calls Ted to find out how things are going with his new girl, but Ted can’t find anything to relate to her on. She wants him slathered in Bengay and watching “60 Minutes.”

“She doesn’t have daddy issues, she has grand-daddy issues!”

As Ted tries to break up with her, her phone rings an R2-D2 tone, and Ted finds he can relate to her on that. Only she’s just seen the new movies… Ted thinks he can make it work.

Voila. Ted has completed things. Barney wants to see a picture. He scrolls up, but when he gets to her face, he realizes it’s his half-sister. They argue, and Barney declares friendship over.

Marshall and Lily are still fooling around, but now Marshall’s hand is huge. Lily tells him to take the cuff off, but he worries all the sex with stop. They get up to go at it one more time but he passes out.

Barney calls with forgiveness for Ted. He has Ted go to his place for cigars… and in walks the sister. Barney claps his hand, and waiters appear, and arrange an impromptu wedding.

Robin complains more about how lame it is wearing a ring, but Marshall and Lily remind her that it’s nice to be the only one their significant other sees, even if you’re invisible to everyone else.

Barney attempts to marry Ted, because he doesn’t want him to just be a disgusting one-night stand with his sister. They realize he has detoxed entirely, and is over random sex.

Ted comes in wearing a strange hat, which he tells them, before they ask about it, is related to a new girl with a “phenomenal” behind.

Lily comes out to show Marshall the jeans the catalogue accidentally sent her—mom jeans! Apparently Marshall’s got his own little fetish.