Hollywood by Hasbro: Watch the Atrocious Trailer for 'Battleship'

Battleship-movie-images.jpg" style="width: 300px; height: 174px; margin: 5px 10px; float: left;" />There's cynical and then there's this. With the mammoth success of the Transformers franchise, a couple years back some enterprising young evil genius marketing executive from Hasbro realized that the single best way for the company to sell their toys was to have them featured prominently in movies.

It's nothing new, I suppose. Product placement is an age-old practice of savvy advertisers, and it can work very well as a brand-building tool if done correctly.

But Hasbro decided to take it a step further. The company has developed a series of deals with Hollywood executives to create and build movies specifically designed to sell the toys - putting their board games and other properties front and center. The evil genius part is that the company actually charged the studios a licensing fee for the pleasure of making the very expensive toy commercials.

Universal signed on board, and has apparently spent $200 million creating the first such product of this idea - a new movie based on the kids' game Battleship.

Yup, you heard me right. $200 million. On "Battleship." Apparently Connect Four was on a rehab stint or something.

So what, exactly, will these wonderful toy movies be all about? Joyous Pixar romps showing playful kids' games in 3D? No dice.

The latest trailer for "Battleship" shows us a deadly serious Peter Berg-directed drama starring the currently white-hot actor Alexander Skarsgard, alongside Liam Neeson, Rihanna (?!) and token love interest Brooklyn Decker. They're fighting aliens, inexplicably, from their Battleship. Because there's aliens in the board game?!

How bad is this movie going to be? See for yourself.

I mean, seriously, does Alexander Skarsgard not have an agent? If so, how much did it cost for him to take a big wet turd on his very promising career? Who again at Universal thought spending $200 million on this concept was a good idea? Did they think this would be the next "Avatar"?

But hell, maybe I'm wrong. Instead of what it looks like - potentially one of the biggest-budget-busts of all-time - maybe this movie will end up being a box office bonanza. But even then, will it really convince tykes the world over to go out and by the 80's board game?

If a recent press release is any indication, execs from Hasbro are apparently banking on it.

"Cameras continue to roll toward the scheduled May 18, 2012 release of the Battleship movie, under direction of Hollywood storyteller Peter Berg. As Mr. Berg and Universal Pictures will bring BATTLESHIP to the big screen as an epic action adventure, Hasbro will do the same with its global portfolio of licensees and retailers by building a BATTLESHIP merchandising program that will launch next spring. Key driver categories will include apparel, publishing, and gaming with supporting products that blend aspects of the film with the rich heritage of the BATTLESHIP brand to deliver highly compelling merchandise to mass, mid-tier and specialty retailers worldwide."

So they've got that going for them.