'Hi-ho, Winklevii!' Armie Hammer is The Lone Ranger

Honestly, every time I hear a piece of news regarding producer Jerry Bruckheimer's "Lone Ranger" reboot, I'm surprised to see that this thing still has any traction.

But with Bruckheimer poised to finally have a hit on his hands after a four-year dry spell with "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides," he's looking to get something relatively new moving before anyone realizes he hasn't made anyone any money off of a non-sequel since 2004. And these days, the reboot of a radio show-turned-television series previously adapted into a box-office bomb will have to suffice.

Alas, someone has to hop aboard a nostalgia trip for baby boomers and avid TV Land viewers. Way back in 2008, it was announced that Johnny Depp would play Tonto, and last September, Gore Verbinski (the first three "Pirates" films) answered the call to direct. But who would play the titular hero?

For a long time, they were angling to get George Clooney or Brad Pitt aboard, but someone must have reminded Depp that not all big-name actors feel the need to relentlessly shill corporate product in order to be a major star.

And so they go to Armie Hammer, fresh off accolades from his amazing turn in "The Social Network." Variety reports that the actor has joined the production, which aims to shoot later this year for a 2012 release.

Depp has to first be in another predictable Tim Burton film (get this - it's a gothic vampire movie! I know, who'd have thought Tim Burton would ever make that kind of movie?), while Hammer will allegedly play the prince in "The Brothers Grimm: Snow White," though the competition between "Snow White" films is so fierce right now I wouldn't be surprised to see one project crumble altogether.

As much as I lament talented actors turning to Easy-Bake Oven projects to jettison their star power, Armie Hammer is uniquely suited to these sorts of larger-than-life characters.

In casting the Winklevii, director David Fincher noted that you have to find someone who can say "we're gentlemen of Harvard" and not have it sound ridiculous. Similarly, it's hard to pull off an honest reading of "Hi-ho, Silver!" these days, but Hammer could do it in a pinch. And if the rumors around the "Lone Ranger" project are true, that the Ranger will be sort of a doofus and Tonto will be the film's true hero, it'd be easy to see Hammer having a lot of fun with that.